| New Journal | |||
| 03:03am 04/01/2004 | |||
|
Hey all I've moved my journal to http://www.livejournal.com/users/kawaiililme/ Enjoy! Gina |
|||
| Post | |||
| An excerpt from "The Bible According to Mark Twain: Eve's Diary" | ||||
| 11:41pm 27/12/2003 | ||||
An excerpt from "The Bible According to Mark Twain: Eve's Diary": "It is not on account of his brightness that I love him - no, it is not that. He is not to blame for his brightness, such as it is, for he did not make it himself; he is as God made him, and that is sufficient. There was a wise purpose in it, that I know. In time it will develop, though I think it will not be sudden; and besides, there is no hurry; he is well enough just as he is. It is not on account of his gracious and considerate ways and his delicacy that I love him. No, he has lacks in these regards, but he is well enough just so, and is improving. It is not on account of his industry that I love him-no, it is not that. I think he has it in him, and I do not know why he conceals it from me. It is my only pain. Otherwise he is frank and open with me, now. I am sure he keeps nothing from me but this. It grieves me that he should have a secret from me, and sometimes it spoils my sleep, thinking of it, but I will put it out of my mind; it shall not trouble my happiness, which is otherwise full to overflowing. It is not on account of his education that I love him-no, it is not that. He is self-educated, and does really know a multitude of things, but they are not so. It is not on account of his chivalry that I love him-no, it is not that. He told on me, but I do not blame him; it is a peculiarity of sex, I think, and he did not make his sex. Of course I would not have told on him, I would have perished first; but that is a peculiarity of sex, too, and I do not take credit for it, for I did not make my sex. The why is it that I love him? Merely because he is masculine, I think. At bottom he is good, and I love him for that, but I could love him without it. If he should beat me and abuse me, I should go on loving him. I know it. It is a matter of sex, I think. He is strong and handsome, and I love him for that, and I admire him and am proud of him, but I could love him without those qualities. If he were plain, I should love him; if he were a wreck, I should love him; and I would work for him, and slave over him, and pray for him, and watch by his bedside until I died. Yes, I think I love him merely because he is mine and is masculine. There is no other reason, I suppose. And so I think it is as I first said: that this kind of love is not a product of reasonings and statistics. It just comes-none knows whence-and cannot explain itself. And doesn't need to. It is what I think. But I am only a girl, and the first that has examined this matter, and it may turn out that in my ignorance and inexperience I have not got it right." |
||||
| Read 1 - Post | ||||
content| xanga | ||||
| 10:12am 23/12/2003 | ||||
|
||||
| Post | ||||
busy| More surveys | ||||
| 11:45pm 22/12/2003 | ||||
1: dead people 2: being alone 3: failure Three people who make me laugh: 1: Silvia 2: Kristin 3: Mommy and Freddy Three Things I love: 1: My mommy 2: My BU buds 3: Dragons Three Things I hate: 1: ignorance 2: most boys -- but let me be specific, wouldn't want to upset anyone (T u r i n 85: i want an explict exception there T u r i n 85: which is my name in bold) So...I don't hate Dmitriy, and Zeeshan of course. Or Fred, or his brothers. I don't hate Dougie, or Paul, or Damon...I think that sums it up. 3: being treated like an idiot Three things I don't understand: 1: boys 2: The American public 3: chemistry Three things on my desk: 1: My laptop 2: soda can 3: books Three things I'm doing right now: 1: surveys 2: talking to Dmitriy 3: listening to classical music Three things I want to do before I die: 1: get married 2: become a good person 3: change someone for the better Three things I can do: 1: read more and faster than anyone I know 2: Sit through a 3.5 hour movie w/o complaining :o) 3: drive with my foot on the dashboard Three ways to describe my personality: 1: Bossy 2: Know it all 3: Always deep in thought Three things I can't do: 1: be patient 2: be wrong 3: run A - Act your age – I think I act my age, maybe older B - Boyfriend – yes :o) C - Chore you hate - Dishes D - Dad's name – Dennis E - Essential make up item – eyeshadow F - Favorite actress – Sandra Bullock G - Gold or silver – Gold…white gold H - Hometown – Good ol’ EB I - Instruments you play – none :o( J - Job title – Dr. hehehe K - Kids – none yet L - Living arrangements – WRT 1503 M - Mom's name - Lucy N - Number of people you've slept with – slept with? Like in a bed? Cuz that’s um…well, girls…I can think of like 5 and boys like…uh…um…4 including naps…I think…LoL or did you mean sex? Naughty… O - Overnight hospital stays – when I was born P - Phobia – Uh…just one? Spiders! Q - Quote you like – Things are not always as they seem R - Religious affiliation- Pagan/wiccan kinda S - Siblings – Lisa, Angel, Linda, Jennie, Joey T - Time you wake up? – Early…let’s leave it at that U - Unique habit – I chew my own fingers…and I don’t mean nails V - Vegetable you refuse to eat – peppers or onions W - Worst habit – my occasional bouts of masachism X - X-rays you've had – chest, ankle, arm, mouth Y - Yummy food you make – I can make…uh…anything in the microwave turns out really well Z - Zodiac Sign – Gemini rocks your socks. |*Random-ish ness*| Do your friends find you weird sometimes?: more like all the time Do your friends think you have odd taste in the opposite/same sex?: Oh yes If yes, name 3 people that you find attractive?: hehe Do you ever/have you ever laughed for no reason at all for a long time?: Ohhhh yes…when I get stressed out I laugh and laugh Do you like the color purple?: it’s ok Do you think you have any influence on others?: yes |*This or That*| Golf or Football?: FOOTBALL! Baseball or Hockey?: baseball Blondes, Brunettes, Redheads?: brunettes Mint Chocolate Chip Ice cream or Cappucino?: ice cream? neither Hanson or Def Leppard? Uh…not much of a choice there is it? John Mayer or Michelle Branch?: see above Star Trek The Next Generation or Star Trek Voyager?: lol how odd MacGyver or Murder She Wrote?: murder she wrote AOL or Death?: AiM |*Favorites*| Person you felt most comfortable talking to?: Elyssa Person you'd fight a rabid dog for?: There are lots of people I’d do that for Favorite color?: blue I guess Favorite singer?: Sinatra Favorite bands or groups?: aerosmith, Bon Jovi, Matchbox 20, Goo Goo Dolls Favorite Tv Show?: ER Favorite Show as a kid?: I <3 rainbow bright, and He-man Favorite place?: my bed at school Favorite present you gave someone?: uh…that’s tough, I give good presents Favorite pet?: Scaredy cat |*Love?*| Do you like anyone?: yes Do they live near you?: kinda? Have you ever been in love before?: yes Age aint nothin but a number?: yes Do you believe in 'internet' relationships?: uh…no Do you believe in the pyschos the news always talk about: lol why wouldn’t you? Do you believe in 'waiting for what you want'?: I’m not terribly patient Do you believe in love at first site? Yes ::le sigh:: Do you believe in "everything happens for a reason. It happens whether you want it to or not"?: yes ------------------HAVE YOU EVER------------------ * flown on a plane: yes * ever been so drunk you blacked out: no m’am * missed school because it was raining: well…if they closed school * told a girl that you liked them?: nopers…wait actually yes…I did, to scare the shit outta her, it worked lol * put a body part on fire for amusement: !!! NO! * had a crush on a friends girlfriend: no * dated someone for over a year:? Yes’m * been hurt emotionally: oh yes * kept a secret from everyone: yes * wanted to hook up with a friend: yep * cried during a movie?: yes * ever thought an animated character was hot?: lol ::blush:: * gotten into a physical fight?: with my sister on an almost daily basis * been on stage: yes * cut your hair: yes! Haha. * had crush on a teacher? Yes…sigh…I can’t wait for writing again! LoL * ditched a class: never * failed a class: I came dangerously close with geometry --------FRIENDS AND LIFE------------------ * do you ever wish you had another name? yes * do you have a girlfriend/boyfriend? yes * do you love anyone? I love lots of people * which one of your friends acts the most like you? Silvia! * who have you known the longest of your friends: um…Kristin technically, lol * who's the loudest: ME * who's the shyest: uh…dmitriy? * who's the funniest: lol I crack myself up…but all my friends are pretty funny. Except zee…you’re boy humor is just yucky :oP * who's the smartest: the smartest? That’s really hard…Sil * who's the most understanding: Sil or Zee * who's the most sensitive: Zee * who's the weirdest: lol…we’re all odd * friends you trust: I wouldn’t be friends with them if I didn’t trust them * are you close to any family members: very and to most * who do you go to for stuff? What kind of stuff? * who do you hang around the most? At BU: My roomie, at home: my family --------FINISH EACH SENTENCE--------------- * let's walk in the: park * let's run through: the rain * who are those: pictures of * what a nice: shirt * where did all these: clothes come from? * when will they: be here * where is: the cat * why can't you: understand * easier than: chem * closer than: Peanut butter and jelly * look at my: Rufus * i'll stay if: you promise to behave * silly little: girl * show me some: love * the sky is: blue * tell me a: story * hide me: please * love me: please * my mom thinks you're: cute * are you: happy? * i missed: you * can't you: wait * lovely little: puppy 01. Full Birth Name: Gina Marie Nota 02. Hair Color: brown 03. Eye Color: brown 04. Height Currently: 5'4ish 05. Glasses/contacts: contacts 06. Birthdate: 6/19 07. Star Sign: Gemini baby 08. Current Age: 18 09. Siblings: 5 10. Siblings Age: 15, 30, 32?, 9, 5 11. Location: currently in EB, NJ 12. College Plans: yay BU 13. Any Piercing: ears SOCIAL LIFE 01. Best Friends: Elyssa, Zee 02. Boyfriend/Girlfriend: yes 03. Current Crush: duh 04. Hobbies: books 05. Are You Timely Or Always Late: usually on time 06. Do You Have A Job: yes 07. Do You Like Being Around People: Usually HAVE YOU EVER 01. Have you ever loved someone you had no chance with: yeh kinda 02. Have You Ever Cried Over Something Someone of The "Opposite" Sex Did: Oh yes, of course 03. Do You Have A "Type" Of Person You Always Go After: usually 04. Want Someone You Don't Have Right Now: no 05. Ever Liked a close Guy/Girl Friend: …as opposed to “some guy” ? yup 06. Are You Lonely Right Now: no 07. Ever Afraid You'll Never Get Married: not really 08. Do You Want To Get Married: Yes 09. Do You Want Kids: oh yes! Boy first then girl PEOPLE Who Do You Think Of When you Hear These Names: Shawn/Sean: O’Keefe Steve: powell Pat: my ex’s friend Bobby: hahaha bobby, my fred’s friend Katheryn: ew that’s a yucky name FAVORITE 01. Room In house: living room 02. Type of music: LoL Sil, I guess alternative 04. Memory: Prom house 05. Day Of the week: Friday 06. Color: blue I guess 07. Perfume Or Cologne: old spice 08. Flower: lilac to smell, or a white rose I guess…I’m not a big flower fan 09. Month: Late Oct or November 10. Season: fall 12. Location for dates: whatever IN THE LAST 48 HOURS, HAVE YOU: 01. Cried: yes 02. Bought Something: yes 03. Gotten Sick: no 04. Sang: yes 05. Said I Love You: yes…assuming you don’t mean in love and all that jazz 06. Wanted To Tell Someone You Loved them, But Didn't: no 07. Met Someone New: I don’t think so 08. Moved On: in the past two days? no 09. Talked To Someone: talked to a lot of people 10. Had A Serious Talk: yes 11. Missed Someone: yes 12. Hugged Someone: yes 13. Kissed Someone: no :o( 14. Fought With Your Parents: oh yes, what fun 15. Dreamed About Someone You Can't Be With: no 16. Had a lot of sleep: yes…yay! 17. Wanted This Survey To Be Over: kinda OTHER STUFF 1. what song(s) best describes you?: I guess, these boots are made for walkin, or “Can’t change me” Chris Cornell 2. what is your favorite ice cream topping?: Sprinkles!!! 3. if you could spend 24 hours with any person who would it be?: I miss Elyssa! 4. favorite part of your body?: nose 5. if you were a porn star, what would your name be?: ugh as if I would ever degrade myself like that 6. Laura Croft or Duke Nukem?: uh no 7. favorite m&m color?: blue 8. have you ever noticed the ratio of brown to orange and red?: orange? 9. favorite possession?: my rufus! WORD ASSOCIATION 10. cow: tipping 11. horny: the horny smiley on the “have a day” poster, LOL 12. summer: prom 13. bus: school 14. white: pure 15. rain: wet MORE QUESTIONS 16. first crush?: first? I guess Steve back in kindergarten 17. is Elvis really dead?: I would think so. 18. best james bond: Pierce Brosnan, but I don’t like James Bond cuz it’s sexist 19. coolest black guy?: wtf? 20. best fast food fries?: McDonalds 21. biggest fear: failure 22. what do you want to name your first son?: Lucifer if I can get away with it, if not…then Lucas or Luke…or Aiden, I kinda like Aiden 23. what do you want to name your first daughter?: Faye or Aidan, or Tryamon…depends what she looks like MORE QUESTIONS FOR EVERYBODY 24. favorite bird: cardinal 25. what sucks most?: uh…chem.? 26. worst movie: Old School 27. favorite album cover: iunno 28. robert frost or edgar allan poe: Poe 29. coke or pepsi?: reg coke, diet pepsi 30. favorite kool aid: been so long since I’ve had cool aid 31. favorite iced tea?: rasberry 32. what would a movie about your life be called?: this question sucks…Bittersweet 33. if you started a band, what would its name be?: but I wouldn’t start a band…sigh…I guess, I dunno, Flames 34. what in the hell happened to joan osborne?: who? 35. gwen stefani or shirley manson?: ew? 36. dream celebrity death match event: what? 37. what's your sign?: Gemini 38. do you believe in love?: why wouldn’t you? 39. the rock or triple x?: uh no… 40. is chivalry dead?: I hope not 41. are you trendy?: I suppose so 42. strangest offer you ever received?: to have someone killed for me (lol Zee) 43. when you were little, who did you want to be like?: god 44. what is the point of flavored condoms?: oral sex I imagine 45. favorite board game: I don’t really like board games but I guess chess or Othello…do those count? If not, I kinda like pictionary 46. most overdone board game?: Monopoly 47. first job: concession at Mega Movies 48. current job: BU Escort 49. dream job: Head of the CDC, or Surgeon General…or President! 50. if you were in a classic literature novel, which one would it be?: Jane Eyre 51. best stephen king book(s): eww too scary! 52. do you believe in God?: Goddess too. 53. favorite t-shirt: Yankees :o) or Bon Jovi 54. favorite color of roses?: white I s’pose 55. how do you feel right now?: bored 56. what do you want most right now?: a bubble bath ~What they call you~ 1.) Name: Gina 2.)Pen name: intriguing idea 3.) Name your father wanted to give you: I think he wanted Gina…mommy wanted to call me Zia…isn’t that awful? Or Denise…I coulda lived w/ Denise ~If the answer is yes, be sure to elaborate~ 4.) Have you ever been stuck in a hole?: I don’t think so 5.) If you were in a hole, how did you get out?: NA 6.) Has anyone of the same gender as you ever asked you to go out with them?: no 7.) Have you ever asked anyone of the same gender as you to go out with you?: no 8.) Ever been to San Diego?: no 9.) Have you ever seen an obese French-Canadian named Pierre?: LOL no 10.) Are you an obese French-Canadian named Pierre?: I don’t think so, LOL 11.) Do you have a cousin with a mohawk?: wouldn’t that be fun? But no. 12.) Do you own a dreamcatcher?: yes, several 13.) Do you know what nail polish tastes like?: probably like it smells 14.) How old is Phil?: no 15.) Who is the most uneducated person you know?: yes 18.) Do you own a gold scarf?: no 19.)Has anyone ever thrown a drink in your face?: No 20.) Were you ever a cowboy for Halloween?: cowgirl thank you, and yes 21.) Have you ever baked anything?: yes 22.) Has anyone ever called you 'cute'?: yes! Cuz I am! 23.) Have you ever peed your pants in a public place?: no! 24.) Is your favourite colour blue?: yeh - M E - .x. [my name is]: Gina .x. [in the morning i am]: wishing it wasn’t .x. [all i need is]: sleep .x. [love is]: the wings on which we fly .x. [im afraid of]: oy see any of the above surveys .x. [i dream about]: lots of stuff - - Y E S . O R . N O - .x. [you keep a diary]: my blurty .x. [you like to cook]: yes, but I suck at it .x. [you have a secret you have not shared with anyone]: yes .x. [you talk in your sleep]: yes’m .x. [you set your watch a few minutes ahead]: yes .x. [you believe in love]: yes - T H E . L A S T - .x. [movie you rented]: uh…I think dragonfly .x. [movie you bought]: LOTR Two Towers .x. [song you listened to]: Mozart, Marriage of Figgaro .x. [song that was stuck in your head]: nothin .x. [song you've downloaded]: I don’t remember .x. [cd you bought]: I don’t remember .x. [cd you listened to]: iunno .x. [person you've called]: zee .x. [person that's called you]: dima .x. [TV show you've watched]: football .x. [person you were thinking of]: I wasn’t - - D O - .x. [you wish you could live somewhere else]: no .x. [you think about suicide]: not nemore .x. [others find you attractive]: iunno .x. [you want more piercings]: belly button .x. [you want more tattoos]: more? lol not even one .x. [you drink]: sometimes .x. [you do drugs]: no .x. [you smoke]: no .x. [you like cleaning]: eh .x. [you like roller coasters]: yippee! Yes! .x. [you write in cursive or print]: cursive .x. [you carry a donor card]: no, but I should…I wanna donate everything! And I’m O- .x. [you have a crush on somebody]: duh - H A V E . Y O U . E V E R - .x. [been in love]: yes .x. [cried when someone died]: yes .x. [lied]: of course .x. [fallen for your best friend]: sigh, yes .x. [been rejected]: yes .x. [used someone]: I hope not .x. [been cheated on]: yes .x. [done something you regret]: oh yes -N U M B E R- .x. [of times i have had my heart broken]: many .x. [of hearts i have broken]: sigh…never intentionally, I swear it .x. [of continents i have lived in]: 1 .x. [of drugs taken illegally]: alcohol .x. [of close friends]: several .x. [of cd's that i own]: not many .x. [of scars on my body]: lol a lot…cats and I like to play .x. [of things in my past that i regret]: several |
||||
| Post | ||||
bored| Survey #1 | ||||
| 10:45pm 22/12/2003 | ||||
(1) Your gender: girl (2) Straight/gay/bi?: straight (3) Single?: no 4) want to be?: lol, if I did, I would be. (5) Your birth day: 6/19 (6) Age you act: LoL, some days 3, others 30. (7) Age you wish you were: I think 18 is groovy. (8) Your height: 5’4” (9) The color of your eyes: brown (10) Happy with it?: it’s ok (11) The color of your hair: brown (12) Happy with it?: yea (13) Left/right/ambidextrous?: right (14) Your living arrangement?: 1503 WRT…happiest place on earth (next to Disney) (15) Your family: parents, younger sister, 2 older half sisters, step father, 2 step-siblings, 2 cats, 1 turtle (16) What's your job: BU Escort (17) Piercings?: ears (18) Tattoos?: no…::shudder:: (19) Obsessions?: lol…too many to name (20) Do you speak another language?: no :o( (21) Have a favorite quote?: “Things aren’t always what they seem (22) Do you have a webpage?: No DEEP THOUGHTS about life and you in it (23) Do you live in the moment?: No (24) Do you consider yourself tolerant of others?: lol…um, depends on who the person is (25) Do you have any secrets?: kinda (26) Do you hate yourself?: not hate (27) Do you like your handwriting?: sometimes (28) Do you have any bad habits?: many (29) What is the compliment you get most from people?: compliment? (30) If a movie was made about your life, what would it be called?: Bittersweet (31) What's your biggest fear?: failure (32) Can you sing: I try (33) Do you ever pretend to be someone else just to look cool?: lol no (34) Are you a loner?: no, I’m a social butterfly :o) (35) If you were another person, would you be friends with you?: no (36) Are you a daredevil?: sometimes (37) Is there anything you fear or hate about yourself?: Yes, that I’m a selfish bitch (38) Are you passive or aggressive?: both (39) Have you got a ?: have you? (40) What is your greatest strength and weakness?: strength: empathy weakness: emotions (41) If you could change one thing about yourself?: I’d change several things (42) There are three wells, love, beauty and creativity, which one do you choose?: love (43) How do you vent?: I’m a yeller (44) Do you think you are emotionally strong?: no (45) Is there anything you regret doing/not doing in life?: Never telling my father what an asshole he is (46) Do you think life has been good so far?: it’s not bad (47) What is the most important lesson you've learned from life?: Don’t give in (48) What do you like the most about your body?: my nose and my ears and sometimes my eyes (49) And least?: :oP everything else (50) Do you think you are good looking?: I think I’m cute, and on some days even pretty (51) Are you confident?: depends on what about (52) What is the fictional character you're most like?: The Amyrlin Seat in Jordan's Wheel of Time... (53) Do people know how you feel?: rarely (54) Are you perceived wrongly?: Yes DO YOU... (55) Smoke?: no (56) Do drugs?: no (57) Read the newspaper?: Not really. (58) Pray?: yes (59) Go to church? No. (60) Talk to strangers who IM you?: no (61) Sleep with stuffed animals?: yupppers (62) Take walks in the rain?: nooo! (63) Talk to people even though you hate them?: I try not to (64) Drive?: YES! I <3 Driving (65) Like to drive fast?: me? Never! HAVE YOU EVER... (66) Liked your voice?: yes (67) Hurt yourself?: yes (68) Been out of the country?: yes (69) Eaten something that made other people sick?: LoL Sil! Stuffed grape leaves (70) Burped?: uhm…no…I’m too cute! (71) Been in love?: yes (72) Done drugs?: no (73) Gone skinny dipping?: no! Gasp! (74) Had a surgery?: no…but I’m going on the 29th…::gulp:: (75) Ran away from home?: no (76) Played strip poker?: no! (77) Gotten beaten up?: by my stupid little sister (78) Been picked on?: wasn’t everyone in grade school? (79) Been on stage?: yes :o) (80) Been so drunk that you know you're supposed to go out on a date with someone, but you can't remember with who or when and that you faint when you look at yourself in the mirror in the morning, not to mention your breath?: Wow that’s a very specific situation…no. (81) Slept outdoors?: Yes. ::shudder:: (82) Thought about suicide?: yes (83) Pulled an all-nighter?: yuppers (84) If yes, what is your record?: all night, duh (85) Gone one day without food?: probably, when I was sick (86) Talked on the phone all night?: Yeh… (87) Slept together with the opposite sex without actually having sex?: Yup (88) Slept all day? nope (89) Killed someone?: lol would I really admit it here? (90) Made out with a stranger?: no (91) Had sex with a stranger?: no! ew!. (92) Thought you're going crazy?: LoL I thought I was already crazy (93) Kissed the same sex?: yes lol (94) Done anything sexual with the same sex?: no. (95) Been betrayed?: yes (96) Had a dream that came true?: yes! (97) Broken the law?: Driving (98) Met a famous person?: erm…I dunno (99) Have you ever killed an animal by accident?: NO! (100) Stolen anything?: nope (101) Been on radio/TV.?: uh huh (102) Been in a mosh-pit?: omg so scary! (103) Had a nervous breakdown? close (104) Considered religious vocation?: when I was little I was gonna be a nun (105) Been criticized about your sexual performance?: lol who would dare?! (106) Bungee jumped?: no (107) Had a dream that kept coming back?: YES! All the time! CLOTHES and other fashion (108) Shoe brand?: don’t matter (108) Brand of clothing?: whichever (109) Cologne/perfume?: Cologne – old spice perfume, iunno (110) What are you normally wearing to school/work?: jeans and a sweater (111) Wear hats?: rarely…I don’t have the head for a hat (112) Judge other people by their clothing?: umm…. (113) Wear make-up?: sometimes (114) Favorite place to shop?: anywhere (115) Favorite article of clothing?: good jeans (116) Are you trendy?: eh (117) Would you rather wear a uniform to school?: no BELIEFS (118) Believe in life on other planets?: yes. (119) Miracles?: yes (120) Astrology?: yes (121) Magic?: yes (122) God? : and Goddess (123) Satan?: no (124) Santa?: yes! (125) Ghosts?: erm…they scare me (126) Luck?: yes (127) Love at first sight?: yes ::le sigh:: (128) Yin and Yang?: yes (129) Witches?: lol hmmm (130) Easter bunny?: that’s just odd…what’s a bunny got to do w/ eggs. (131) Believe it's possible to remain faithful forever?: yes (132) Believe there's a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow?: sure why not (133) Do you wish on stars?: I try to LOVE, and all that (134) Did you get frightened or uncomfortable seeing that as a section title?: should I? (135) Do you remember your first love?: yeh (136) Still love him/her?: no! Isn’t that exciting?! (137) Do you consider love a mistake?: no, it’s never a mistake (138) What do you find romantic?: lots of stuff, ie rescuing me from an evil wizard lol. Real life stuff too…like…uh…cuddling. And random sweet stuff. (139) Turn-on?: ambition (140) Turn-off?: a lack of the above (141) Do you base your judgement on looks alone: no (142) If someone you had no interest in dating expressed interest in dating you, how would you feel?: I would feel flattered but guilty because I had to say no. (143) Do you prefer knowing someone before dating them or going "blind"?: Knowing them (144) Have you ever wished it was more "socially acceptable" for a girl to ask a guy out?: I don’t see why it isn’t…and no, I always have to make the first move :oP (145) Have you ever been romantically attracted to someone physically unattractive?: odds are there’s something I like physically about the person (146) Do you think the opposite sex finds you good looking?: good question, ask the opposite sex (147) What is best about the opposite sex?: lol that’s another good question. They’re adorable. (148) What is the worst thing about the opposite sex?: ugh I can’t name just one thing…they’re screwy (149) What's the last present someone gave you?: the last? Uh…who’s present did I open last? I think Rufus was the last present. (150) Are you in love?: no (159) Do you consider your significant other hot?: lol that’s funny…yeh I guess so (160) What would you do if you were walking down the street and saw some hot guy/girl standing on the sidewalk?: glance his way probably but that’s all WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON... (161) That haunted you?: my ex (162) You wanted to kill?: Bush (163) That you laughed at?: Kristin, or Dmitriy…hard to say (164) That laughed at you?: everyone laughs at me (165) That turned you on?: LoL (166) You went shopping with?: Myself :o( (167) That broke your heart?: my ex (168) To disappoint you?: uh Daddy (169) To ask you out?: Dima (170) To make you cry?: daddy (bastard) (171) To brighten up your day?: the mall…cuz I went shopping and felt better (172) That you thought about?: Mommy…this is a silly question (173) You saw a movie with?: Zee, Heather, Mike, Mike, Doug, Mr. Pfeil (174) You talked to on the phone?: Zee (175) You talked to through IM?: Kristin and Dmitriy (176) You saw?: lisa is right next to me (177) You lost?: lost? Lost where? (178) You thought was completely insane?: Silvia :o) (179) You wanted to be?: god (180) You told off?: daddy (181) You trusted?: uh? (182) You turned down?: ?? WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU (183) Smiled?: a few mins ago (184) Laughed?: a few mins ago (185) Cried?: car tonight (186) Bought something?: today (187) Danced?: this past summer (188) Were sarcastic?: lol couldn’t have been long ago (189) hugged someone?: today (190) Talked to an ex?: today. (191) Watched your fave movie?: a couple weeks ago (192) Had a nightmare?: last night (193) Talked on the phone?: this evening (194) Listened to the radio?: I can’t remember (195) Watched TV?: today :o) (196) Went out?: today (197) Helped someone?: today (198) Were mean?: today (199) Sang?: today (200) Saw a movie in a theater?: friday (201) Said "I love you"?: today (202) Missed someone?: today (203) Fought with a family member?: today…grrr (204) Fought with a friend?: yesterday (205) Had a serious conversation?: yesterday (206) Got drunk?: saturday |
||||
| Post | ||||
| Christmas Presents | ||||
| 11:58am 19/12/2003 | ||||
From Dmitriy: The collector's edition of LOTR trilogy, all red bound and with really gorgeous designs. With appendices and maps and all kinds of LOTR nerd stuff...I love it :o) From Kristin: A turtle that moves it's head and legs and stuff and sits in front of my fish tank, and a claddagh ring...very perty From Ashley: A cat-gargoyle thing that sits on my mantle....he's so cute! From Raffy: A lovely charm bracelet and matching earrings...they're so shiny! (hehe) From Silvia: Doctor socks with stethescopes and pills and stuff, a christmas picture frame and....a new friend! His name is Rufus, and he's a blue dragon, and he's the coolest dragon ever! (But he doesn't like it when you play with his tail and he will NOT wear a nose ring!) So yes...I had a very good day yesterday! And here's a lil something for all of you! Before I came to college I wish I had known: That it didn't matter how late I scheduled my first class, I'd sleep through it anyway. That I could change so much and barely realize it. That you can love a lot of people in a lot of different ways. That college kids throw airplanes too. That if you wear polyester everyone will ask why you are so dressed up. That every clock on campus shows a different time. That if you were smart in high school, so what? That I would go to a party the night before a final. That I could sleep until 12:55 and still make my 1:00 class. That my best friend is the worst roommate. That you can know everything and fail a test. That you can know nothing and ace a test. That I would never watch the news, and I would be totally out of touch with the world happenings. That home is a great place to visit, but I wouldn't want to live there. That the more money your parents give you, the less you have every time you check your account. That parties get old, and sometimes you just want to kick back and watch a movie. That most of my education would be obtained outside of class. That friendship is more than getting drunk together, but I met most of my friends through drinking. That I would be one of those people that my parents warned me about. The free food served until 10 is gone at 9:50. That you could be totally broke, but still have enough to go to a party. That I would go home every weekend my Freshman year. That I would laugh at all the Freshman going home every weekend my Senior year. That Sunday is a figment of the world's imagination. That Psychology is really Biology. That Biology is really Chemistry, that Chemistry is really Physics and that Physics is really Math. That my parents would become so much smarter in the last few years. That it's possible to be alone even when you are surrounded by friends. That friends are what makes this place worthwhile. Top Ten Reasons that College is like Preschool 10. You cry for your mother. 9. You cross the street without looking for cars. 8. Snack time is a necessity. 7. You bundle up for the outdoors without caring what you look like (because everyone else looks as stupid as you do). 6. You stay at home and play games with your friends. 5. You wear your backpack on both shoulders. 4. You wear big mittens. 3. Playing in the snow is a legitimate activity. 2. You take naps. 1. You look forward to grilled cheese sandwiches. You know you've been in college too long when... You actually like doing laundry at home 4:00 AM is still early on the weekends It starts getting late on the weeknights Two miles is not too far to walk for a party You wear dirty socks three times in a row and think nothing of it You'd rather clean than study "Oh no! How did it get so late!" comes out of your mouth at least once a night Half the time you don't wake up in your own bed and it seems normal Minesweeper is more than a game it's a way of life You schedule your classes around sleephabits and soaps You know the pizza boy by name You go to sleep when it's light and get up when it's dark You live for getting mail Looking out the window is a form of entertainment Prank phone calls become funny again It feels weird to take a shower without shoes on You start thinking and sounding like your roommate Blacklights and highlighters are the coolest things on earth Rearranging your room is your favorite pastime You find out milk crates had so many uses Wal-mart is the coolest store The weekend lasts from Thursday to Sunday,(or Wednesday morning to Tuesday night) How to write a college paper 1. Sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a well lighted place with plenty of freshly sharpened pencils. 2. Check your e-mail. 3. Read over the assignment carefully, to make certain you understand 4. Walk down to the vending machines and buy some coffee to help you concentrate. 5. Check your e-mail. 6. Stop off at another floor, on the way back and visit with your friend from class. If your friend hasn't started the paper yet either, you can both walk to McDonalds and buy a hamburger to help you concentrate. If your friend shows you her paper, typed, double-spaced, and bound in one of those irritating see-thru plastic folders, drop her. 7. When you get back to your room, sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a clean, well lighted place with plenty of freshly sharpened pencils. 8. Read over the assignment again to make absolutely certain you understand it. 9. Check your e-mail. 10. You know, you haven't written to that kid you met at camp since fourth grade. You'd better write that letter now and get it out of the way so you can concentrate. 11. Look at your teeth in the bathroom mirror. 12. Listen to one side of your favorite tape and that's it, I mean it, as soon as it's over you are going to start that paper. 13. Listen to the other side. 14. Check your e-mail. 15. Rearrange all of your CDs into alphabetical order. 16. Phone your friend on the other floor and ask if she's started writing yet. Exchange derogatory remarks about your teacher, the course, the college, the world at large. 17. Sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a clean, well lighted place with plenty of freshly sharpened pencils. 18. Make yourself a power snack 19. Check your e-mail. 20. Check the newspaper listings to make sure you aren't missing something truly worthwhile on. NOTE: When you have a paper due in less than 12 hours, anything on TV from Masterpiece Theater to Sgt. Preston of the Yukon is truly worthwhile, with these exceptions: a) Pro Bowlers Tour b) any news report involving the President 21. Catch the last hour of Soul Brother of Kung Fu on Channel 26. 22. Phone your friend on the third floor to see if he was watching. Discuss the finer points of the plot. 23. Check your e-mail. 24. Look at your tongue in the bathroom mirror. 25. Look through your roommate's book of pictures from home. Ask who everyone is. 26. Sit down and do some serious thinking about your plans for the future. 27. Open your door and check to see if there are any mysterious, trench coated strangers lurking in the hall. 28. Check your e-mail. 29. Sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a clean, well lighted place with plenty of freshly sharpened pencils. 30. Read over the assignment one more time, just for the heck of it. 31. Scoot your chair across the room to the window and watch the sunrise. 32. Lie face down on the floor and moan. 33. Check your e-mail. 34. Leap up and write the paper. 35. Type the paper, and while you're at it, check your e-mail. 36. Complain to everyone that you didn't get any sleep because you had to write that damn paper. Top 13 differences between highschool and college 1. In high school, you do homework. In college, you study. 2. No food is allowed anywhere in high school except during lunch. In college, food must be provided at an event before students will come. 3. In high school, you carry your book bag on one shoulder. In college, you carry your book bag on both shoulders. 4. In college, professors can tell you the answer without looking at the teacher's manual. 5. In high school, you're told what classes to take. In college, you get to choose them, that is as long as the classes don't conflict with each other, that you have the prerequisites, that the classes aren't closed, or already full or not offered this semester, and you've already paid your tuition. 6. In high school, fire drills are planned by the administration. In college, the fire drills are planned by drunk fraternity guys coming home when the bars have finally stopped serving (Which is at 2 am.) 7. In high school, when the teacher said "Good Morning" you mumbled something back. In college, when the teacher says "Good Morning", you write that shit down. 8. In college, the weekends start on Wednesday.(WOOHOO!!!!!!) 9. In college, it's much more difficult to figure out the course schedule of that man/woman you have a crush on, in order to figure out where he/she will be on campus at a certain time so you can 'accidentally' bump into him/her. Once you've obtained that info, it's much more time-consuming to run between classes to that place where you know he/she will be to 'accidentally' bump into them. 10. In high school, you drink Coca Cola. In college you use it to dilute Crown. 11. In college, when you miss a class, you don't need a slip from your parents saying you were skipp-... uh, sick that day. 12. In high school, you can't go off campus for lunch, because it is not allowed, for some of us. In college you can't go off campus for lunch because you can't afford it, and you don't want to move your car. 13. In high school, people that drank, were zoned-out, had untidy clothes or hair and were called losers. In college they're us. Tada! Love you! Gina |
||||
| Read 2 - Post | ||||
| HOME AGAIN! | ||||
| 01:05am 19/12/2003 | ||||
Well I am glad to be home. Walking in the house the smell that hit me was Evergreen tree...a lovely reminder that Christmas is still coming! On the plus side, a few days after Christmas I get to see some cousins I haven't seen in years! Very exciting! I took a nice hot bath tonight for like, an hour, followed by a nice warm shower :o) Joy of joys and utter contentment...and tonight I get to sleep in flannel sheets! Of course, I already miss everyone at BU and my dorm room and the comforts of good ol' WRT. This still feels more like vacation than being home, but I'm glad to be here no matter what it is. I guess that's all for now, I'm gonna finally get some sleep! |
||||
| Post | ||||
| Finals | ||||
| 10:05am 12/12/2003 | ||||
Oh and Zee, if you're still reading this shit...I miss you you bastard. So when you're done being mad at me, call me. Gina |
||||
| Read 1 - Post | ||||
| SNOW | ||||
| 11:39pm 07/12/2003 | ||||
So we had a lot of snow this weekend...like 16 inches worth, which was very exciting. At first it made me a lil homesick for good ol' EB where mommy woulda been making hot cocoa and the neighbors would all be outside drunk and shoveling the snow and celebrating lebanese new year....but I was stuck here at BU. It turned out ok, because the plows didn't work until Sunday, so there was plenty of snow to look at. I had to work on Saturday, which sucked, but it was actually kind of fun to know that there was so much snow even the taxis weren't running that much. So I spent the weekend just watching it snow, very productive. Today I finally had a snowball fight, boys vs. girls, and us girls lost. But che sera sera, we'll get them next time at something that isn't so silly as snow ball fighting :oP It's always sad when the storm ends. There's something terrible and exciting about snow and wind whipping around dangerously. It's mother nature at her best, at her prime. It's the greatest example of fury and beauty combined. A blizzard to me is comparable to an angry and powerful queen...beautiful, fantastic, and terrible, and you just want to worship her. There's also something to be said about being safe and warm inside...sigh. I hope it'll be a bad winter. Hmmm what else? Not much to say I guess. I basically spent the weekend with Dmitriy which is good. I have a chem exam tomorrow I haven't studied for, which is bad, but I'm not really stressed about it. I'm much happier and calmer than I was in previous entries. Kristin is home again, which makes me happy :o) I really missed having her around. I also realized how much I miss having music in my life. I mean sure, I dled and listen to songs and sing them quietly to myself but I miss having a regular chance to sing. Singing...it's amazing, I love it, it's like your whole body sings, it's exhausting and challenging and wonderful, it's like flying, and I don't really get to do it here. I used to be good...maybe not the best, maybe not excellent, but I was definately good. But then...you stop practicing and your voice just kind of...dies, I dunno. I've secretly been trying to do scales and everything, and it is getting better, but I'm not where I used to be. I wish I had the time to join a group or something where I could excercise my voice all the time but that's not really happening...maybe next year. So I'm currently supplementing this need w/ Mozart, a few other classical composers, and Bocelli...and maybe tomorrow Sil will lemme break out Pavoratti... BTW...Sil and I are scary. Over the weekend we both started listening to the same type of music and picked the same favorite song to listen to over and over....w/o talking to eachother once about it! Aren't we creepy? I love my roomie(s) |
||||
| Read 2 - Post | ||||
| Tomorrow..tomorrow...I love ya, tomorrow, you're only a day away... | ||||
| 01:52am 30/11/2003 | ||||
Ups and downs of the evening? Well, mostly downs I guess. I don't know why I bother, half my friends don't even bother talking to me unless they need me...and that includes when I actually see them. I can't maintain a friendship like that...I need reciprocity, not just Gina being mommy all the goddamn time. I also don't like it when people try and make me jealous on purpose...that shit pisses me off. Oh, and when people get all fucking hypocritical? Like when certain people feel the need to say shit that will piss me off, and do shit that will piss me off but I don't say anything and then the minute I even mention someone they don't like they flip a fucking shit? Yeh...that's stupid. Frankly, I've had it with my friends, and if I didn't still love them, I would just ignore them all together. But I do still love them, despite all the stupid shit they do, so I guess I'm stuck. Good thing...Jen and I decided to call eachother more often and talk more. And John really is treating her like a princess. And she's taking it well. I don't think I've ever seen a happier or better couple. I mean, he takes her out to dinner, he won't let her in his car if he isn't sure it's safe enough, he opens doors, caters to her every need, holds her, kisses her, lets her have whatever she wants...that's perfection. But the icing on the cake is that Jen loves him enough and is comfortable enough to accept it. That's what made my night...their happiness. The shitty part is that no one else can be happy for them, all they do is give them shit. So yeah...all in all I've just about had it with this place. Except for my family and a few of my friends, coming home is barely a pleasure any more. Maybe it'll be better over winter break, when I'm not trying to fit everyone into 3 days time. Maybe. |
||||
| Read 1 - Post | ||||
angry| new survey | ||||
| 11:26pm 26/11/2003 | ||||
Nervous Habits?: biting my nails, cracking my knuckles/toes, bouncing my knees, talking, chewing gum, chewing my pen… Are you double jointed?: My fingers Can you do weird things your tongue?: that recessive gene tongue roll thing Can you raise one eyebrow at a time?: Yes, otherwise how would you show your skepticism Can you blow spit bubbles?: lol you can’t? Can you cross your eyes?: No :o( I keep trying but I just can’t Tattoos?: no Piercings and where?: ears. One each. I’m not quite as brave as Kristin Do you make your bed daily?: Yes -- WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU -- Hugged?: dmitriy Talked to?: dmitriy Went on a date with?: dmitriy Laughed with?: silvia Hung out with?: dmitriy -- WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU -- Took a shower?: this morning Cried?: last night Talked on the phone?: A couple hours ago…or maybe less. Time kinda melts together when you’re on a bus Read a book?: A couple hours ago Punched Someone?: Not in the longest time! Well…I did hit Damon but that wasn’t any fun. I’ll probably beat up some of the boys when I get home -- CLOTHES -- Which shoe goes on first?: I think the right one but I don’t really pay attention Speaking of shoes, have you ever thrown one at anyone?: Probably, but I don’t exactly recall. On average, how much money do you carry with you: A few singles What jewelery do you wear 24/7?: my pentagram, my watch Favorite Piece of Clothing: jeans Pajamas: boxers and a huge tee-shirt -- FOOD -- Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it?: cut it Have you ever eaten Spam?: ewwww Favorite Ice Cream Flavor: bovinity divinity, chocolate, chocolate peanut butter cup How many cereals in your cabinet?: I don’t really like cereal What's your favorite beverage?: diet pepsi What's your favorite restaurant?: The Ria Mar rocks my world Kristin! But I’m gonna hafta go with Carmine’s in NYC Do you cook?: not well, and nothing edible -- GROOMING -- How often do you brush your teeth?: twice How often do you shower/bathe?: shower daily thank you! How long does your shower last?: 10 minutes max, and that’s if I’m feeling really lazy Hair drying method: tie it up and wait for it to dry on its own…who wastes time drying their hair? Have you ever colored/highlighted your hair?: yes m’am Do you paint your nails?: not often -- MANNERS -- Do you swear?: all the time…it’s really not good Do you ever spit?: when I’m hanging out with boys they sometimes teach me their bad habits… -- WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE -- Animal: Puppy! Or a dragon…if you count that Food: eggplant parm Month: novemeber Day: ummm Sunday Cartoon: maybe Fairly Odd Parents Shoe Brand: whatever Subject in school: Ummm I guess writing, or archaeology Color: blue Sport: I watch baseball and football Tv show: ER Thing to do in Spring: in the spring? Nothing really…it’s not the best of seasons Thing To Do In The Summer: hit the boardwalk Thing To Do In Autumn: Take long walks Thing To Do In The Winter: Curl up with a book and a blanket -- IN AND AROUND -- The CD Player: Nothing…but I am listening to a bunch of songs Person you talk most on the phone with: ?? Mommy I think Ever taken a cab?: scary Do you regularly check yourself out in store windows and mirrors?: lol I wouldn’t call it checking myself out…I just wanna make sure my hair isn’t messy yet. What color is your bedroom?: home…green. Here…cinder block Do you use an alarm clock?: I need an alarm clock Window seat or aisle?: window!! -- LA LA LAND -- What's your sleeping position? Laying sideways facing the wall, strangling my stuffed animal (or my cat if I’m home), under as many blankets as possible w/o being too warm Even in hot weather do you use a blanket?: I would like to…if mommy turned on the damn AC Do you snore?: probably…iunno Do you sleepwalk?: no Do you talk in your sleep?: lol yeh Do you sleep with a stuffed animals?: of course Do you fall asleep with the TV or radio on?: no but I could -- WHICH IS BETTER -- Coke or Pepsi?: diet pepsi, regular coke Oranges or apples?: oranges One pillow or two?: one is more than enough Deaf or blind?: deaf Pools or hot tubs?: hot tubs Tall or short?: tall boys, average girls TV or radio?: computer Beach or pool?: Pool…I hate sand Tic-Tacs or Certs?: tic-tacs Snooze button or jump out of bed?: yay 10 minute snooze Sunrise or Sunset?: sunset, hardcore. Hamburger or Cheeseburger? Cheeseburger if I have to eat beef Morning or night?: morning Sports or news?: news Indoors or outdoors?: indoors Christmas Eve or Christmas Day?: I like the combination effect Cake or ice cream?: ice cream Spearmint or Peppermint? spearmint Bath or shower?: shower to be clean, bubble bath to relax. Book or Movie?: BOOK Green or Red apples?: green Rain or Snow: snow -- THE FUTURE -- Where do you see yourself in ten years?: 3rd year resident…probably emergency med or infectious disease 1st year resident. Who are you going to be married to?: Umm wouldn’t I like to know? How many kids?: I only want 2! One boy (first) then the girl. But all the psychics told me I’m gonna have three boys…why three? Why boys? Your profession: MD |
||||
| Post | ||||
| 01:22am 26/11/2003 | ||||
But yeah...I already miss my BU buddies though! It's so weird...I miss people I just saw today, for the simple fact that I can't turn around in my chair and talk to Sil or walk down the hall to Ashley or hop on the elevator and go to A-tower (aka Russia, lol Ash, Sil). It's weird because at home I don't have that closeness with my friends that I have at BU. That constant accessibility..no one is ever far away. But here...I dunno. Some of my friends say I've changed. I agree, whole heartedly. I'm not really sure how to put that change into words though. I'm more deliberate in my thoughts and my speech. I'm more tired, more stressed, not quite as happy go lucky as I used to be...more serious. I seem detached from things...I dunno. Maybe I haven't changed...maybe I've just reverted back to the way I was before senior year...when school mattered, lol. Someone in my pagan club read my Tarot and said that I'm going to have a lot of trouble drawing the line between BU and "home". I think he was definately right. So many of the things that used to fit don't anymore...and I guess that's sad, although I'm not too terribly upset about it. But something about it does make me feel angry and jealous...isn't that weird? I think I'm jealous that the people who got to stay here...they aren't changing that much, things still fit, they're the same...because there haven't been drastic environmental changes. They weren't torn away from their friends and moved hours away and had to seek coping method. But the one thing that hasn't really changed...and I hope never will....is my family. And this town. And my love for it. I'm so glad to be home... LoL And I'm soooooooooooo sorry I've seemed so melancholy lately! Hopefully a little sleep this weekend will perk me up a bit more! I love you guys, I really do! |
||||
| Read 2 - Post | ||||
| Thanksgiving... | ||||
| 02:03am 25/11/2003 | ||||
‘Cause no matter how far away you roam When you pine for the sunshine Of a friendly face For the holidays, you can’t beat Home, sweet home I met a man who lives in Tennessee And he was headin’ for Pennsylvania And some home made pumpkin pie From Pennsylvania folks a travelin’ down To Dixie’s sunny shore From Atlantic to Pacific, gee The traffic is terrific Oh there's no place like home For the holidays, ‘cause no matter How far away you roam If you want To be happy in a million ways For the holidays, you can’t beat Home, sweet home That about sums it up! Night y'all! Back in Jersey 11/25/03!!! |
||||
| Post | ||||
| I confess | ||||
| 12:15am 24/11/2003 | ||||
I'm not writing this to worry anyone (especially you Silvia! Don't add me to that list of your depressed friends!) But I just need to get it off my chest. I think I know what it is or at least I have a good idea. And I'm trying really hard to fight it off, but the only way I feel comfortable hiding it is through avoidance...which will probably just cause me to break down at some point. Hopefully that will be after finals though, that's all I need. I know how ridiculous this sounds, and I just realized that I'm practically having this conversation with myself, but I don't care. I feel completely apathetic, but at the same time I feel completely passionate about everything...does that make sense? Like, I'm just removing myself so that I don't have to feel it, because it hurts...that's so weak of me. I haven't the slightest idea what caused this relapse...well that's not completely true. I have ideas, but none of them make sense, which is why I'm a little afraid this isn't going to be some minor, week long thing...I know you have no idea what I'm talking about...don't worry about it. I'm fighting with my best friend. All the time. I feel terrible about it. I know it's my fault, that I get angry with him for stuff that isn't completely all his fault, but he's the only one I have available to blame things on so I do. It's wrong and I'm sorry. At the same time though...I don't know. Some of it is his fault, and when I try to get upset about those things that I think I might be justified about I just feel guilty. How can I get mad at him, he's here for me, I don't want to isolate him more. I also found a friend in a place I never thought I would...but it's a shaky friendship, and we'll see how it ends up this time. I'm a little surprised at how many people want me to talk to them about my problems. I'm not sure I understand it, I'm not that great a person. I mean I try, but I rarely succeed. And this whole entry is just me bitching again...I would delete it, because I don't want to bother you guys, but that would defeat the point of me having written it at all, and I kind of need the therapy of writing. I'm going home in two days. It may as well be two months, since it hasn't hit me at all. I'm excited, in theory. It sounds great. I'm bringing home a friend, that should be cool. But I'm not excited cuz it still seems like forever away...I think I need my mommy. My family needs me, I can tell. No one says anything but my sister is having issues and my mom I think knows it and is too afraid to talk about it because that would make it real. I don't think she wants to go through what she went through with me with my sister...but I don't think that's what this is. Her problems are much more situational, more physical. They can be fixed, but I'm not home to fix them, and it hurts because there's not much I can do here for the people who need me. But I'm going home in 2 days...so maybe I shouldn't worry, I can fix things then I guess...for a while at least, till I leave again. I don't know why I chose to move so far away. I don't know why I'm here. I'm not sure I deserve to be. Sorry. |
||||
| Read 1 - Post | ||||
melancholy| Sundays | ||||
| 03:34pm 23/11/2003 | ||||
Frankly, I'm a little disappointed with this score. I thought I was much more Jersey then that, but oh well. I realized that November is my favorite month but that it's hazardous to my health. I'm so lazy on Sundays in November...for example, I haven't done a single productive thing today except figure out how I'm getting home for Christmas. That's it. Instead I'm watching some football, lounging around, and staring at my chem book, even thought it's getting me nowhere. I guess I should keep trying... I'm wicked excited about bring Raffy home for Thanksgiving...this is gonna be a fun break! I can't wait to get home! |
||||
| Post | ||||
| Music | ||||
| 12:30pm 21/11/2003 | ||||
So I'm ridiculously tired, and I'm trying to figure out when on earth I can fit a nap into my schedule cuz right now it's looking a lot like never. Anyway, here's a list of songs that have been keeping me entertained, try downloading them. Switchfoot - Meant to Live Dashboard Confessional - Hands Down Chris Cornell - Can't Change Me Sting - Desert Rose Rufus Wainright - Hallelujiah |
||||
| Post | ||||
exhausted| did you ever stop to think? | ||||
| 04:31pm 20/11/2003 | ||||
Don't tell me you don't get sick of listening. I get sick of listening. We're all a bunch of self-absorbed assholes. At some point we say "Christ, all that person does is complain. Why don't they cheer up?" or "How much attention do they need." We say this, even though we've been in that position before, because we don't care that much about other people's pain, and that's a sad thing. You know when we care least about other people's pain? When it hurts us too. A girl gets raped. She wants to talk about it, needs to talk about it...to her mom, to her friends, to her father...but who wants to hear that? Who wants to hear that someone we loved was in pain? So we say "No. Don't talk about it. That's depressing. Hide it, get over it, forget about it." Only it doesn't work that way. Ignoring a problem doesn't make it go away. Boys do something very similar. A girl is in a bad relationship. She finally gets out of it. She gets into a good relationship. She wants to talk about the bad relationship. She needs to talk about the good stuff, and the bad stuff. She needs to know that it wasn't her fault, and she needs to hear that from her boyfriend. Girls need the comfort of knowing that they didn't nothing wrong, they don't need to change. Would you like to know what happens when girls try to talk about their ex? Boys freak out. They don't want to hear that shit. It bothers them, it depresses them, they get jealous. The result of this is that the girl maintains a connection with their ex. They start to forgive them. They feel guilty for over reacting about everything. Afterall, the boy that they're with now is a good guy and he apparently doesn't think it's worth talking about. Maybe she was crazy. Maybe she screwed up. Maybe her ex was right. Ever hear of teenage girl syndrome? That's what it is. We're told not to talk about things, not to over-react. Everything we get upset about is blamed on PMS, hormones, and general girl-craziness. 95% of the time, that's not it. So now we have a situation where girls don't always feel comfortable talking about their problems with their boys. What happens next is that the relationship has problems (as they all do). The girl gets upset, the girl cries (or doesn't cry and you wish she would). The boys just assume the girl is nuts, crazy. They aren't mind readers. How are they supposed to know wtf is up? Well...if you would all take your heads out of your asses and listen to us girls for once, you might get a good idea. Why aren't we crying in front of you? Well...did you ever think to ask us instead if anyone had ever told us when we cried that we were over reacting? And did you ever think to sympathize with this? Why are we pissed off about you chilling with another girl? Well think about it...did our ex ever cheat on us? Why are we possessive? Well...let's put 2 and 2 together here people... maybe we never had a male influence in our life that we felt was readily available and that we were secure with? You know sometimes I wonder if guys are dense, or lazy, or what? I mean, do you not listen to us because you get jealous? Or because you think if you ignore our problems they'll go away? Or are you just too prideful to ever admit that you're wrong. We don't expect you to always understand, but it wouldn't kill you to stop being so damn defensive and think that maybe there's more to it then us just blaming you for all our problems. So the moral of the story is...listen to people. Even if you've heard them complain about the same thing over and over and over. Deal with it, offer a suggestion if you have a good one. But let them talk about their problems...don't make them feel guilty for reaching out to someone. And just because it hurts you doesn't mean you should just ignore it or push it away. You can learn from it anyway. |
||||
| Read 2 - Post | ||||
| ABCs | ||||
| 10:28am 20/11/2003 | ||||
B - You are always cautious when it comes to meeting new people. C - You definitely have a partier side in you, dont be shy to show it. D - You have trouble trusting people. E - You are a very exciting person. F - Everyone loves you. G - You have excellent ways of viewing people. H - You are not judgemental. I - You are always smiling & making others smile. J - Jealousy. K - You like to try new things. L - Love is something you deeply believe in. M - Success comes easily to you. N - You like to work, but you always want a break. O - You are very open-minded. P - You are very friendly and understanding. Q - You are a hypocrite. R - You are a social butterfly. S - You are very broad-minded. T - You have an attitude, a big one. U - You feel like you have to equal up to people's standards. V - You have a very good physical and looks. W -You like your privacy . X - You never let people tell you what to do . Y - You cause a lot of trouble. Z - You're always fighting with someone. I am: G - You have excellent ways of viewing people. I - You are always smiling & making others smile. N - You like to work, but you always want a break. A - You can be very quiet when you have something on your mind. Well i don't know about "A", but I guess that's right. And I don't know how often I'm smiling. I'm cranky as hell right now so I'm just gonna go do my paper before I start talking and say things that will piss people off. Even if those people do get pissed off for no reason whatsoever :oP Gina |
||||
| Post | ||||
| Philly and a new survey | ||||
| 09:28pm 17/11/2003 | ||||
...tickle me...[EMO]. xx.Do you enjoy depressing music? I like any music I can sing to xx.What makes you sigh? love lost. xx.How many hours a day, on average, do you spend feeling sorry for yourself? ummm...if I'm going to feel sorry for myself I do it while lying in bed before I fall asleep xx.Who or what always brings you down? my friends changing xx.Do you wear glasses? contacts xx.What frightens you? failing xx.Do you wear sweaters all the time? not really... xx.What makes you tick? family xx.How many times has your heart been broken? too many xx.What do you think of Dashboard Confessional? I only heard one song...but I like it! .[PUNK]. xx.What or who pisses you off? boys!!!!! xx.Would you rather date a sissy or a homebody? ummm what's the diff? I guess a homebody xx.Sex or drugs or breaking stuff? breaking stuff! xx.The Clash or The Ramones? ramones xx.What do you think about Anarchy? completely illogical...unless you're talking about some music group I know nothing about...in which case ... xx.Do you do things that are "bad for your body"? i drink on very very rare occasions xx.How many times have/were you kicked out of that place? i don't get kicked out of places xx.Are you in trouble all the time? not really .[GOTH]. xx.Do you want to die? ew! xx.What do you think about graveyards? ::shivers:: xx.Do you write poetry often? I try to embarass myself as little as possible so what I do write, you'll never see. xx.How much black clothing do you own? eh, a few shirts xx.What type of makeup do you wear? eyeshadow, lipstick, sometimes a power xx.What do you think about pain? I take it well xx.Masochism or sadism? masochism xx.How do you feel about the rest of the world? we're fighting xx.Do you cry often? this place makes you cry xx.What do you think about vampires? weirdos .[METAL]. xx.How messy are you in general? im pretty clean xx.Do you bang your head on things repeatedly? not usually my head... xx.What do you think of mullets? EW! xx.When did you start drinking alcohol? at the age of 8?? xx.Do you go to concerts often? enough xx.What bands rock your pants off? aerosmith, tom petty, bon jovi xx.What do you think about violence? eh. sometimes i like it, sometimes i hate it. xx.Who or what makes you homicidal? boys xx.Worship Satan or practice black magic? nope, sorry xx.How wild are you in general? lol. me? wild?! .[GRUNGE]. xx.Are you wearing any clean clothes right now? i never wear dirty clothes!! xx.How often do you do the laundry, anyway? every week xx.Do you wear flannel shirts a lot? nope, but they are comfy! xx.When was the last time you showered? tonight xx.Do you speak clearly? no i'm a mumbler xx.Are you a lazy person? i do like my naps... xx.Do you play any instruments? i wish...i sing though xx.Who or what do you rant about a lot? boys, chemistry xx.Empathy or Sympathy? Empathy xx.What do you think about Nirvana? I'm in love with them .[INDIE]. xx.What makes you different from the rest of them? I have no idea...I hope to discover that xx.Who or what makes you bitter? betrayal, ignorance xx.What was the last big decision you made? what makes one decision bigger than the others? anyone could change your life without you even realizing it. xx.Are you a happy-go-lucky type of person? I dunno... xx.What do you think about conformity? it's inevitable, and it's not a horrible thing to be a member of society, as long as you don't do it ONLY for acceptance xx.How hard do you work to get what you want? very xx.What do you resent? see bitterness xx.Why might some people consider you to be an asshole? i'm honest, a lot. and I try hard to make myself happy sometimes since I spent a large portion of my life making everyone else happy xx.Do you trust others? not everyone like i used to xx.Are you a loyal friend? i try to be .[RAP]. xx.Do you live in the ghetto? ew, no. xx.Have you ever even held a gun before? i like shooting xx.How much bling do you own? ugh xx.Would you rather have your best friend be a wangsta or a wigga? what? xx.Would you rather be bustin' caps or rollin' joints? um neither xx.Big butts or big boobs? wtf? xx.What's your best pick up line? I don't think I like this question xx."Fo' Sho" or "Yeah, son"? um xx.What race are most of your friends? white xx.Ever been to prison? No .[POP]. xx.Who or what makes you so excited you piss your pants? ew xx.Prep or Yuppie? prep xx.How much money do you spend on bad music? none xx.Justin Timberlake or Nick Carter? Nick xx.How many of your friends still listen to NKOTB? none xx.Do you like mainstream music? eh xx.Do you want to be a pop diva? uh no. that's like prositution xx.How many times, on average, do you say "like" in a sentance? a lot xx.OMIGOD or OMG? OMG xx.Ditsy or just plain stupid? ditzy |
||||
| Post | ||||
| Leavin on a jet plane...don't know when I'll be back again... | ||||
| 03:11am 14/11/2003 | ||||
For those of you who haven't been paying attention, I'm going away all weekend to visit Eric in Philly (yay!) Sooo...don't expect to see me online, or reply to your emails. Call me if you miss me, not a problem...but I'm not sure about how much internet access I'll have. Packing was wicked difficult because I needed to pack cold weather clothes in a tiny bag! I refuse to check my luggage! I think I got it all to fit though...even if it is a bit tight... I guess that's it...I'm gonna miss all my BU buddies...call me if you miss me too! Gina Cuz I'm leavin, on a jet plane Don't know when I'll be back again Oh babe...I hate to go.... So kiss me and smile for me Tell me that you'll wait for me Hold me like you'll never let me go.... |
||||
| Post | ||||
|
kawaiidreamer |
||
|
Friends Info Calendar |
||
| skip | ||
| Backward | ||