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Taylor's Journal
Yoanna House: She definitely deserved it. She picked up her game tremendously in the later weeks, and while she gave a few week showings in the early shoots, her shots were never horrible (not even her adult ultrasound, which Janice labelled "the worst picture she's ever seen".) Her face was always flawless, and perfect for the Sephora makeup campaign that the winner would recieve. Her photos were always strong, and rarely weak. I initially complained that she didn't have a photo that defined her- little did I know that would come in the form of her beauty shot. Her pic is gorgeous, and flawless, but ultimately, I didn't choose it as her top photo.
Yoanna House's Strongest Photo
This is, I feel, the best shot of the entire season. Her lips and full and gorgeous, her eyes are an extremely vibrant green, and her face is 100% perfectly symmetrical. It's absolutely haunting, and definitely fierce. I consider this to be the premiere shot in both seasons of America's Next Top Model. It's nothing short of amazing.
Yoanna House's Weakest Photo
Sure, she looks like Audrey Hepburn, and sure, the symmetry is there, but this one just scares the hell out of me. Sorry.
Just on a side note: in her Eve shot, she has grey eyes. In her final photo, she has green eyes. I'm guessing the contact lens company had her wearing some for the Garden of Eden shoot.
Celebrity Auditions
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The first celebrity to audition was Celebrity Mole: Hawaii winner and comedienne Kathy Griffin...
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The judges were also delighted by a visit from SNL funnyman Rob Schneider, circa 1982.
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Continuing the streak of comedians, the judges were treated to a rendition of "Chain of Fools" courtesy of Mr. Eddie Murphy.
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And finally, MadTV funnylady Debra Wilson rounded out the celebrity top 100.
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Obviously making a play for international success, American Idol 2 winner Ruben Studdard gave a glowing audition...
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...but not to be out done, original Idol Kelly Clarkson responded in kind.
Imitation is the Sincerest Form of Flattery
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Brianna does "Summertime" a la Fantasia.
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Speaking of whom, Kelly seems to have stolen Fantasia's top from disco week and let it out about five sizes.
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http://www.ctv.ca/PhotoGallery/Archive/images/Top100_Solo_Central3/Tammy-00135-ON.jpg
Okay, what the hell? Was there a sale on these things at Hot Topic or something?
Fashion Missteps
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Not a fashion thing, but what is she, seventy? You've got to be kidding me.
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She looks like a salmon in polyester; which, while a proud, Canadian fish, is probably not the look she was going for.
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God, how insanely boring. Next, on PBS, the life cycle of the honey bee, followed by a retrospective of the life of cellist Yo Yo Ma...
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Welcome to Good Burger, may I take your order?
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Donna is still bitter about not being cast as an extra for Flashdance.
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Anyone else just wanna haul off and smack this guy?
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WOO! I STILL HARBOUR RESENTMENT TOWARD MY PARENTS AND THEIR SHOVING ME INTO BECOMING AN ACCOUNTANT, SO I WEAR THESE WRISTBANDS TO SIGNIFY MY REBELLION AGAINST THEM EVEN THOUGH I STILL LIVE IN MY BEDROOM AND EAT MAC AND CHEESE ALL DAY INSTEAD OF ACTUALLY GETTING A JOB OR A GIRLFRIEND OR A LIFE... THAT'S PUNK ROCK! WOO!
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It looks like Baby Spice had sex with a bulldog and their offspring got bad red highlights...
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Now THAT'S a forehead...
In Closing...
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This guy was too good not to show again...
Alternate title: Beating a Dead Horse.
How many times did we have it beat into us this episode that Sara's dad disapproves of what she's doing? Or that Mercedes has lupus? Or that April isn't fully Japanese, she's only HALF white and HALF Japanese, so LEAVE ME ALONE, OK? But I digress.
This week, the models did an underwater photo shoot for what I suspect is a fictious brand of bottled water, "Queénch Bottled Water." It's... interesting, to say the least. Commencing with the jot notes:
· Was I the only one frightened by the guy with the dog? In fact, I was so freaked out, that I forgot to get his name in my meticulous note taking. I hope he doesn't haunt me now. :(
· Camille reading her attribute list... priceless. Picture it.
CAMILLE: Hardheaded. Stubborn. Ruthless. Tactless shrew. Worthless cunt- hey, those weren't on the list!
XIOMARA: Oops, my bad.
· Second most priceless- the look on Janice's face when Catie revealed that she was a virgin. Oh, well. Every reality show needs one, it seems. From Alima, to Shannon, to Christine. Sunrise, sunset, sunslept with some guy at the Sizzler. Let's move on, shall we?
· Camille needs to learn to keep her mouth shut- as if this were new news. Her remark about Janice being "the bitch" totally killed her during the interviews.
· Final note, I think, on the interviews. Janice unwittingly reveals to the group that Mercedes has lupus, and Mercedes has this look on her face, like, "Aw, shit. Now ya gone and done it, Janice." Priceless.
· April is only half Asian, OK? HALF ASIAN! And while we're at it, her father does indeed look like Art Garfunkel.
· I have to wonder what the point of the fish in the tank was, since they didn't show up in anyone's pictures.
· Camille was doing the Vogue underwater. She is now my idol.
· This is more on last week with the celebrity photo shoots- every season has one particular shoot where no one has an extremely bad photo. That was this year's. Even Catie's God-awful Marilyn Monroe picture doesn't look that bad after a second look. If you're curious, last season's do-no-wrong photo shoot was the extreme beauty shoot, with the snakes and funky make up.
· Where was Yoanna this week? I guess she sort of blended in. On the bright side, we got to see those cool dreamcatcher earrings again.
· I take it back- Yoanna did a have a small moment, only noticeable to a trained eye such as mine. When the psychic (Suzannah Gallard) brought up Shandi's relationship with her parents, Shandi began to cry. The girls all chimed in with "We love you." Now, Yoanna was in the unfortunate position of being the one sitting right next to our favourite Walgreen's clerk at the time. So, for about five minutes, she's bobbing in and out of Shandi's personal space, thinking, "So, do I hug her, or what?" Thankfully, J. Alexander averted the crisis in time.
· Catie didn't cry all episode, did she? It's very refreshing.
· When Mrs. Tyra was yammering on about the modelling industry, Mrs. Sara and Mrs. Mercedes must have been bored out of their minds. "I'm only here to see my daughter! Retract the sermon! Retract the sermon!" By the way, this week's alternate alternate title: "The Hyphenated Heroines Take New York."
So, here's what happened this week inside the Flatotel (I don't know if it's called that this year, but it was in season one, and that's what I've grown accustomed to calling it):
April: OK, OK. We believe you're not fully Asian. Put down the gun. If we've learned anything, it's that Miz Tyra doesn't like it when people reject their culture. Take a lesson from Miss "Purring to Be Persian" Sara and suck it up. Maybe she feels that being Asian will give her less of a chance. It'll just annoy Tyra. Remember when Xiomara was hesitant to become Grace Jones? Look where that ended her up. April's shot is the crowning jewel of this week's underwater shots; an example of poetry in motion, and definitely this week's Best Photo. Still, April goes into next episode as my pick to be eliminated for her inability to display the emotion that Tyra and the judges are looking for.
April Wilkner's Underwater Ad For Queénch Bottled Water
Camille: My new nickname for Camille is the Jamaican Train Wreck. No matter what she does, she always comes off looking like a total bitch. And by this point, I'm beginning to suspect that the other girls might not like Camille very much. No, really. It just occured to me. I swear. OK, bullshit aside, Camille had yet another bad week. Looking through Camille's portfolio, I can't find a single standout picture of hers. This is also true of one of the other models, whom I'll discuss later. Camille's underwater photo looks like something pulled out of the Moulin Rouge Catalogue for Tacky Tramps. Not a flattering look.
Camille McDonald's Underwater Ad For Queénch Bottled Water
Catie: This week, I issue the Catie Challenge. I defy anyone to find one of Catie's photos that doesn't look like a waterlogged corpse from the end of the movie Titanic. Go ahead, I'll wait... ... ... Couldn't find one, could ya? Didn't think so. Yes, Catie is the master of little to no facial expression. This week is worse than the others with her underwater shot adding a whole new dimension. Dig the pose, though. Groovy.
Catie Anderson's Underwater Ad For Queénch Bottled Water
Mercedes: So, the bomb dropped that you have lupus, eh? It was bound to come out eventually, and now the judges won't think she's just giving up or copping a bad attitude. For my part, I think that Mercedes' only flaw is her consistence- in that she isn't. There are photos like her Eve shot and her Billie Holiday shot that absolutely blow me away, and then there are others like her Laundry photo and this week's disaster that make me think otherwise. Her "drag queen chic" this week is probably the ugliest photo I've seen on America's Next Top Model in either season, including eventual winner Adrianne Curry's anorexic and sadistic Stuff Magazine swimsuit shoot and Robin Manning's lingerie shoot in which she looks ready to go for the male model's jugular. But again, I digress. This awful photo (which looks a bit like my Aunt Conchita if she were drowned) won't hamper Mercedes' chances, though. She's still our winner.
Mercedes Scelba-Shorte's Underwater Ad For Queénch Bottled Water
Sara: What the- you were in the episode this week! Mazel tov! The Curse of the Invisible Woman is lifted! Hold your head up high. Now, if Mercedes' problem is consistence, then you've got it made. You're the most consistantly amazing model out there. You've yet to take a bad photo (even her Eve shot, which I loathed, was outstanding), and your photos are rarely even average. You always set the bar high. The judges seem to like Sara an awful lot, too. I might be delusional, but I can actually see Miss Sara winning this thing. I'm not ready to put her above Mercedes in my power rankings just yet, though. She'll have to earn that, first.
Sara Racey-Tabrizi's Underwater Ad For Queénch Bottled Water
Shandi: We slice a layer further into the cheesecake that is Shandi Sullivan this episode. This episode gave us the news of her prior incarceration, drug abuse, and family issues. Seems Shandi was the black sheep of her family, but now, she has a new family. Aw. Hugs all around. I'm sure the spirit is dampened by the fact that her best friend Xiomara took the long walk home this week, but anyways. Shandi's given a decent show throughout the program, winning Best Photo honours once. However, she needs to put a little more into her photos. Exhibit A to this theory is this week's photo, which looks more like the pig's blood scene from Carrie than it does a high fashion photo shoot. It's one of the worst of this week's batch, without a doubt. Pick up the slack, Shandi, or you're going to be joining Xiomara.
Shandi Sullivan's Underwater Ad For Queénch Bottled Water
Yoanna: Like I said, this week, you were near invisible. We can only pray that The Curse hasn't shifted from Sara to Yoanna, though it got her pretty far. Now, I earlier a second model who had no standout shots. This is Yoanna. All of her shots are entirely average. Laundry- average. Eve- average. Audrey Hepburn- average. This week gave us the only exception, and not in a good way. I wasn't a loathsome of the "adult ultrasound" concept as Janice was, but then, I'm not a judge. Get noticed, and get noticed fast, is what the doctor prescribes for next week.
Yoanna House's Underwater Ad For Queénch Bottled Water
And, this week's casualty of the runway:
Xiomara: What happened, Xiomara? Well, I'll tell you what happened- I totally nailed my prediction for the second week in a row. But, besides that- well, Xiomara never stood a chance of winning the first place. She either had "crack baby" eyes going on, or churned out subpar pictures. Tyra was quite right in her description that Xiomara had personality to spare, but it just never turned out in film. She needed to put more of herself into her photos, which, sadly, she didn't do. It's sad, too, because Xiomara was one of my favourites- a list, which, right now, includes just about anyone but Camille and Catie.
Goodbye, Xiomara. It's been a pleasant five hours knowing you. Regan. I love your Daddy. I'll always love your Daddy, honey. OK? Burke just comes around here a lot, 'cause, well, he's lonely. Don't got nuttin' to do....
Xiomara Frans' Underwater Ad For Queénch Bottled Water
Best Photo: April Wilkner
Worst Photo: Mercedes Seclba-Shorte
Next week, the models are suspended in the air and do battle, a la Matrix. Plus, Camille gets an allergy before a big kissing scene. It's all so high school! Maybe Catie touched her tomato again...
The power rankings:
1. Mercedes
2. Sara
3. Shandi
4. Yoanna
5. Catie
6. Camille
7. April
Look for the waterworks to fly next episode....
So, this week brought us the models dolled up like celebrities. Some were glammed up like stars of yore- Marilyn Monroe and Billie Holliday. Others took a more modern bend, like Salma Hayek and Angelina Jolie. And some- well, some were just odd. Commencing with the jot notes:
· Shandi shouldn't wear off the shoulder clothing. She just shouldn't. You could poke an eye out with those neckbones.
· So.... how about Betsey Johnson? ...Yep.
· I found that for all my shitting about hair in the past coupla weeks, this week was really the worst. We were subjected to both Betsey Johnson's scarecrow 'do and Tyra's cornrows in the same episode. Show some compassion, UPN.
· Picking up strong overtones when it come to the editing. In episode three, Nicole and Heather both phoned home crying and were eliminated. In episode four, both Adrianne and Mercedes got sick. Granted, Mercedes didn't just "catch" lupus this episode, but still. Foreshadowing.
· I encourage anyone looking for information on lupus to visit http://www.lupus.org/ .
· The captions that went with the faux magazine covers read "Does she have what it takes to be on 'TOP'?" If Bethany were on one of those covers, I'd spit my pop laughing.
This week's model behaviour:
April: They haven't shown much of you since you screwed up in the first episode. Besides that, you haven't really done anything wrong. In fact, you haven't really done anything at all. Not to worry, though, I still love ya. Congrats on winning the "Toughman Contest" at the gym. Too bad it's not America's Next Top Lumberjack. April was chosen to portray Catherine Zeta-Jones. An odd choice, especially since they bear next to no resemblance. However, the end product is at least prettier than Catherine's Nokia ads. Not digging the eye make-up as much, though. Also, her head looks enormous in this picture. April's pictures are unfortunately getting weaker and weaker- not a good trend.
April Wilkner as Catherine Zeta Jones
Camille: At the beginning of the episode, a friend and I were chatting about how Catie talked back to Simon Doonan when he critiqued her wardrobe, and I said, "Odd. It's usually Camille who sasses back." And, lo and behold, she did just that at the elimination ceremony. Why would you do that? Who goes up to the person who judges their fate and says, "You're wrong when you judge me."? It's just moronic. Anyways, Camille was chosen to portray Diana Ross. And, in a photo that looks eerily like Robin Manning from the first season, she pulls it off. However, I don't like the shot as a whole. It's too average. Once again, Camille's photo is cold and hard. I find it funny that the judges keep telling April to show some emotion when Camille clearly has trouble with the same.
Camille McDonald as Diana Ross
Catie: You cried again, I'm done with you. No more chances- I officially don't like Catie. And the Barney's guy was right, you did look like a ho. Leg warmers? Where the fuck do you think you are, the set of Flashdance? Take your passion and make it happen somewhere else, and get the fuck off my TV screen. Also, your imitations of the other girls. While dead on, I find it interesting that you think you are free to dish out criticism whenever you please, but you can't take it yourself. Catie was chosen to portray Marilyn Monroe, and her photo looks undoubtedly the most fake of the lot. I can't even tell that it's Catie. I think it's this week's worse.
Catie Anderson as Marilyn Monroe
Mercedes: Wow. Just wow. I said that there was always one shot that just blew you away. This week, it's Mercedes'. This photo just gives me the absolute chills. It's totally intrigues me. She's got this intangible sadness in her eyes that is just... wow. This is easily the best photo I've seen thus far in any of the America's Next Top Model shoots. It's absolutely gorgeous. If I forgot to mention, Mercedes was chosen to portray Billie Holliday, although I think she would have done a spectacular Dorothy Dandridge. Since we seem to be going in reverse order, let's chat about Mercedes' behaviour this episode, shall we? I'd like to point out that there is no way that Mercedes will not win. She's strong, determined, likeable, a little bit ghetto, and she has a certain edge to her that is undeniable. She came to a photo shoot when she was at her worst, not unlike Adrianne. Trust me, I see her going all the way.
Mercedes Scelba-Shorte as Billie Holliday
Sara: Agh. Sara. The Invisible Woman. She has done spectacularly each week, this week being no exception, and yet the producers seem to think that they're not allowed to put you on the screen. I know nothing about you. Even Heather had a moment in episode two- she fell on her face during the runway walk. Nothing to be proud of, but something to remember her by. Ahem. Sara was chosen to portray Angelina Jolie. She was lucky in that she didn't get an overly difficult star to portray. Sara does a bang up job with the part, adding a great intensity to the photo that is all her.
Sara Racey-Tabrizi as Angelina Jolie
Shandi: For once, Shandi stayed pleasantly out of the spotlight this week. She won the Betsey Johnson competition (to which I was like, huh?), and chose Xiomara and April to eat out with Adrianne, who wasn't as likeable as I remember her being. Maybe it was the pulled back hair. Hm. Anyway, Shandi was chosen to portray Nicole Kidman. A good idea as a whole, but I don't like the way it turned out compared to, say, Jenascia's or Sara's photos. They have a movement- a curve. Shandi's shot is sort of rigid and still. I'm not liking it, but it's not a detriment. Shandi will still be around for a while.
Shandi Sullivan as Nicole Kidman
Xiomara: Well, she at least got the best quote of the episode. "That BITCH broke my earrings!" It was totally out of nowhere, and made me shit myself laughing. Xiomara, Xiomara, Xiomara. Where do we start with you? This week was certainly a bitchy one for you, and I have to admit, it put me off a bit. Ease up on the Camille hatred; she was actually coming across sympathetically thanks to you. Xiomara was chosen to portray Grace Jones. Which came out absolutely frightening. I mean, jeez. I remember joking about Xiomara being an Amazon queen name in my preshow analysis, but wow. She looks like a freaking Amazon. Nice legs. Bad photo.
Xiomara Frans as Grace Jones
Yoanna: Yoanna is this year's golden girl. The one who does everything right with a Midas touch. Elyse had it, now Yoanna has it. A+ in everything she does. Yoanna enjoyed a nice quiet week out of the spotlight. Although, I do notice that like April, her photos get weaker each episode. Not good, for a show where constant perfection is often necessary. Yoanna was chosen to portray Audrey Hepburn. If you're wondering where this weeks title came from, it's because this picture looks like Yoanna was on a serious meth jag or something when she took it. It's like Audrey Hepburn beamed in from 1954, went to the bathroom, shot up, and then came out and took a photo. She's got Xiomara-eyes happening. Otherwise, good photo. Still without being rigid like Shandi's. B-.
Yoanna House as Audrey Hepburn
And, this week's discontinued model:
Jenascia: What went wrong? Well, first off, I totally called this one. Go back and look. Jenascia is right at the bottom of the list. Which means GONE. Heh heh. So, you couldn't get past "the short thing", eh? I guess Janice just kind of had it out for you. The bitch. Jenascia was chosen to portray Salma Hayek in what I think was an outstanding final photo. I think it was a mistake for the judges to eliminate anyone but Catie or Xiomara, whom I feel are the two weakest of the bunch, or Camille, who brings nothing but a bad attitude to the table. Jenascia's photo as Salma was nearly flawless- I'd give it the honours of second best, behind the Amazing Mercedes. It sucks that you have to go, when, unlike homesick Heather and "angelic" Anna, you're actually good at this.
Goodbye, Jenascia. It's been a pleasant four hours knowing you. Keep reaching for the stars- but you might need to get yourself a small stool if you want to actually get them.
Jenascia Chakos as Salma Hayek
Next week, Mercedes pleads the others to step into the loop with her. And, an underwater shoot. Sounds exciting and semi-fetal. My predictions going into next week:
1. Mercedes
2. Shandi
3. Sara
4. Yoanna
5. April
6. Camille
7. Catie
8. Xiomara
Xiomara and Catie, your days are numbered.......
So, apparently the only thing we're allowed to name our kids anymore is Mackenzie, Madison, Skyler, or Tristan.
But the names can't be too popular. So we fuck around with the spelling a bit. Madison becomes Madyson. Tristan becomes Tristin. I have no problems with this- in moderation.
Let's start with Madison as our example.
Madison.
But that's too common. So let's chuck in a few unnecessary Ys.
Madisyn.
Of course, to be cool, let's chuck on another N to the end.
Madisynn.
Cuz double letters are cool. So why don't we go all the way, hm?
Maddisynn
Throw an e on the end, because you can never get too many vowels if the baby naming boards are to be believed.
Maddisynne
Fuck with the spelling a bit more, and we get the end product-
Maddycynne
And what the fuck? Mutated. I'm not making this stuff up.
Apostrophes and random capitalization are also "kewl". One "senior member" of a baby naming board took this poll:
Which name do you like for a girl?
· JaNae Jazlyn
· Jazlyn Brielle
· Jazlyn Sloan
· Alexa Jazlyn
· Sierra Jazlyn
Wait. It gets better. The response from one of the other posters:
"Jazlyn Sloan is beautiful... but i would spell it Jazlynn Sloane just to add a little style to it but the name is awesome!"
Oh. My. Word.
Of course, you have to add the extra N. Because what if there was another Jazlyn in her class? She'd be Jazlyn W. for years, and who wants that? Apparently, every child in the world MUST have a different name, even at the expense of scarring them for life.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
"what about
Taybrii-Taybree-Taybri
Tariana (TAR-e-ANA)
Tatyana-Tatiana
I really like Sloane but then again im one of the few
My daughters name is Kaleka Sloane
Kaleka (Ka-lee-ka) you can put other letters at the beginning to make different names like Maleka Caleka and you can use an "i" instead of an "e" Alika
Janessa-Janess
Brittleigh-Brittlee-Brittlei
Jaclyn-Jacklyn
Mikaela NN. Mickey or Kayla
Andrea (an-DRE-uh) NN. Andre/Dre
Rain
Jaylee
Jalaa-Jaylaa-Jayla (Jay-la) ;o)"
OK, so you've named your baby Andrea. What's the first nickname that pops to mind? Not Andi or something obvious like that- no, Dre! 'Yo, Dre, get yo ass ovah here! Muthafuckin' dinner's on!'
And what's that last one- Jalaa? Good luck saying that one without completely swallowing your tongue.
------------------------------------------------------------------
"my name is Purity.. i used to not like it because i'd have to tell people what it was and how it was spelled about 3 times before they got it.. but i love it now.. it's very unique and stands out.. and most people think it's beautiful.. so i've grown attached to it.. and so far.. i'm the only person i've ever talked to who has it.."
Am I the only one who finds it unsettling that this woman talks to herself?
-----------------------------------------------------------------
"Aspen
Celeste
Cheyenne
Chenoa
Dezirae
Haileigh
Hateya
Jadziah
Kaia/Kaya
Kaitlin
Keilani
Maigen
Marissa
Marina
Misae
Noelle
Noelani
Oceanne
Rain
Raven
Shae/Shea
Shayna
Shilin
Skye/Skyla/Skylin
Soleil
Starr/Starria
Tania"
OK, so let's run through the list here. There are the basic names you'd hear at any school's role call- Chenoa, Hateya, Misae, Noelani, Starria- you know, the usual.
Fucking psychos.
Oh, and on that- Hateya? Sure do Hate ya.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"I actually like Zoey better, but....
Zoe: Jade, Shaylee, Amaya, Adrienne, Brooklyn, Kendall, Cadence, Virginia, Christiana, London, Gabrielle, Rebecca, Catherina, Elizabeth"
So this poor woman wants a middle name for Zoe. And this was one of the "suggestions". OK, name the kid Brooklyn. She can grow up to be a character in a World War II movie. Oh, and naming you kids after places = uber kewliez.
'Hi, I'm Zoey London Smith.'
'Oh? I'm Makenna Brooklynn Jones.'
'Hey! I'm Nyuyorrk Myshygyn Cosby.'
We reach lines, people.
-------------------------------------------------------
"I keep coming back to this name: Roan. I don't know if I love it, some days I do, others I don't! So, first of all, how would you pronounce Roan, and second of all, what do you think of it? "
I wonder if this woman realises that a roan is a fucking horse.
Aggggh.
I could do more, but I'm tired. Go entertain yourself elsewhere. ;)
OK- change o' plans today. Not putting the "stars" at the end this time- because, let's face it, and aren't they all stars in their own way?
All except Heather. Ha ha, you're gone, bitch. Lick my boot.
So, on with the jot notes:
· Congratulations to Richard Nieman, who became the most useless subtitle in ANTM history. We see him wordlessly wander the hall once- BAM! Subtitle. Never to be seen again. Not unlike Amber on Survivor: All-Stars.
· Xiomara, I love you. I really do. But I have so much criticism to heap onto you. What were you doing with the Goth makeup? "I went to school with a lot of goths..." We're talking high fashion, not fifteen year old girl with black nail polish and a tattoo of a dragon on her ass. Get with the program! ;)
· Catie is officially a cunt-faced whore in my eyes. What the hell was that that you pulled at the elimination? Xiomara was nice enough not to totally abandon Catie (like the girls did with Jenascia on day two) and points out rather correctly that Jay Manuel was too busy comforting Catie to direct Xiomara in her photo shoot, and Catie has the nerve, nay, the unmitigated GALL, to say pull an attitude and practically tell Xiomara off. What a bitch. I hope you die, Catie.
· TYRA WITHOUT MAKE UP! AAAAHHHH!
· Notice that each season, we have a magazine editor who contributes nothing to the judging process- season one had Marie Claire's Beau Quillian, and this season we have Jane Magazine's Eric Nicholson. Oh, look, you're on TV. Now do something, fucktard.
· What the hell was up with Camille bitching at Catie about the tomato? Yes, Catie should have asked before she took Camille's... erm... produce, but it's a tomato. A tomato. It's not even really a vegetable. Can we get off it and move on? Please?
· When Yoanna referred to Catie as "Twiggy"... it was condescending, to say the least. Bleh.
And, now, on with the official analyses:
April: Coming around the bend to pass Xiomara and Yoanna as my favourites, iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit's April! Ah, sweet, happy April. Seriously, I love April. And I love her new makeover. She looks straight off the Sonny & Cher show. It accentuates the features of her face. Also, she did well on the makeup test despite not having much experiences. Yes, it looks like things are turning up roses for the girl I thought would be gone this week. I predict April lasting a while. Watch her go next episode just cuz I said that. Her extreme photo shoot turned out spectacularly well, in my eyes, but the dress and makeup combo looks a bit "the head of the cheerleading squad got into the liquor cabinet again" to me. Still fantastic, though.
April Wilkner's LAUNDRY by Shelli Segal Extreme Photo Ad
Camille: Just when you thought uber bitch had turned it down this week, she butts her big ass in front of the mirror, reads Catie the riot act over a tomato, and just generally Camilles the place up with herself. Ew. I don't like you Camille- but the makeover is an improvement, I must admit. Pretty much anything is better than the hoochie braids at this point. I have to say, this is alot wilder than last season in terms of makeover- then, the most radical image change was probably Kesse, who got extensions. Now you got mohawks and braids and Olive Twist 'dos popping out everywhere- it's kind of funny. Once again, I don't like Camille's picture. She looks stoned. Camille has yet to impress me at any goddamn thing she's done.
Camille McDonald's LAUNDRY by Shelli Segal Extreme Photo Ad
Catie: Quel bitch. I've had it with you and your constantly crying about everything. OK, got your hair cut. I'll let you cry over that. Hell, I'll let you cry over the photo shoot, too. But when you tell off Xiomara and then go backstage and cry about that one, too, well, you've breached the "STOP CRYING AND SHUT THE FUCK UP" line. It's a fine line, that one. Funny irony in that everything you say turns out to be a crock- you won't care how they make you over, fears are a waste of time, etc., etc. I don't like your makeover at all. It makes your face look all red and puffy when you cry. Which is rather often, it seems. But I do like the retro feel of your extreme ad very much- in fact, I think it may be the best one there. By going late, you also got cool light effects in the background. So you get one more chance. You cry one more time, though, and God help me....
Catie Anderson's LAUNDRY by Shelli Segal Extreme Photo Ad
Jenascia: They don't like you in the editing department, do they? Not that you're edited badly. You're just not edited at all. It's like, "OK, cue Jenascia for her obligatory comment about being short, and let's go back to Catie crying about something and call it a night." As of now, you're a two-dimensional character. Hopefully, you'll snap out of that next week, but I doubt it. You've been hovering around the bottom three the whole time, but now, you're finally dead last. I'd bet the farm you're going next week. Indifferent about your extreme photo shoot. I don't like the hair or the dress, really. It's one of the weaker shots.
Jenascia Chakos' LAUNDRY by Shelli Segal Extreme Photo Ad
Mercedes: I just can't see Mercedes not winning this thing. She's just so going that way. She's yet to have a bad week, and she has an exotic look. She's likeable, energetic, and man, she's pretty. I am so keeping Mercedes at the top of my list until anyone gives me any reason not to. Liked her makeover, but the hair was a bit too long. Her extreme photo shoot, I don't like. It's certainly the weakest of her pictures thus far. She looks paranoid, but the hair is working for her. I still say she takes it all.
Mercedes Scelba-Shorte's LAUNDRY by Shelli Segal Extreme Photo Ad
Sara: The Curse of the Invisible Woman strikes yet again! Sara, Sara, Sara. Who are you, babe? Every week, you come out and give a fantastic show, and you go ignored because Camille is too busy bitching about what goes into Yoanna's salad and hogging all the limelight. I feel for you, Sara, I do. And I love your extreme photo. It's like preppy school marm meets early eighties hooker. And I mean that in the nicest ways. One of my old teachers dressed like a hooker from the eighties. Trust me, she can't pull it off anywhere near as well as you can. Points for passing the makeup test on elimination day.
Sara Racey-Tabrizi's LAUNDRY by Shelli Segal Extreme Photo Ad
Shandi: Now, I know I've harped on you before. I know I've said that the acclaim for you was unfounded and you didn't deserve it. But this week, I was really feeling you. Pulled off that make-up test like a pro on elimination night. Your makeover makes you look about ten times better (just hide yer ears, woman!), and your LAUNDRY extreme photo shoot went superbly. It's all very A Clockwork Orange. You got a great outfit, makeup job, everything- every week, you get a really great shot that absolutely blows you away. Week one gave us Mercedes and April's shots, the same pair failed to disappoint in week two, but this week was Shandi's week. No doubt about it. A+.
Shandi Sullivan's LAUNDRY by Shelli Segal Extreme Photo Ad
Xiomara: Your shot is clearly weaker than even Heather's or Jenascia's this week. I'm sorry. I know you didn't have Jay Manuel there to help you, and the judges were right in saying that you probably should have called him over and told him that you were dwindling, but you're too nice a person for that. I totally respect that. That said, it shouldn't cost you the competition. You can do better than this- you can do better than your makeup test. It was a bad week. Let's call it a wash, and start over.
Xiomara Frans' LAUNDRY by Shelli Segal Extreme Photo Ad
Yoanna: A mohawk. You certainly got one of the more "extreme" extreme makeovers. And to your credit, you were a total sport about it. Most women would cringe or pull a Catie, but not you. Good call. Also, you won Jay Manuel's smoky eye makeup dealie, despite that lardass Camille hogging the mirror. All in all, you avoided the drama and had a good week. You're bordering on being a bitch at times, now, but I'm more than willing to give you the benefit of the doubt. Certainly. I like your extreme photo ad. You're rocking the hair, and the makeup. Looks like you were born to be suspended in a tight harness over a rusty pit.
Yoanna House's LAUNDRY by Shelli Segal Extreme Photo Ad
And, this week's returner to their old job at Hooters:
Heather: Seems everyone called this one but me. I just figured that you were too much like Bethany to be eliminated the week after her. Guess Tyra and the judges felt otherwise. I have to wonder if the judges knew you were going and decided not to spring for a makeover because it would be frivolous. By that reason, Catie and Shandi should be around for a while. Shandi, certainly. So, what went wrong? You were just too average. It's happened to plenty of people in the past, such as season one's Tessa Carlson and Katie Cleary. But I feel that you have had the least effect of any contestant on the show ever. Yes, even less than Tessa or Katie. So, bye. You'll soon be forgotten for someone decent at modelling, like Shandi or Yoanna or Mercedes. Too bad, I finally had something to remember you as- "Homesick Girl". Next time, maybe a little less angst. You're not one of Xiomara's high school goth friends, you know.
Goodbye, Heather. It's been a pleasant three hours knowing you. Let this serve as a lesson: never make a desperate call to a loved one in the third episode. I'm looking at you, Nicole.
Heather Blumberg's LAUNDRY by Shelli Segal Extreme Photo Ad
So, we're down to nine. Next week, Mercedes faces a serious illness, and the girls are made over to look like celebrities. So, who'll make the cut?
1. Mercedes
2. Yoanna
3. Sara
4. Shandi
5. April
6. Camille
7. Catie
8. Xiomara
9. Jenascia
Cheers to Shandi for stealing the show. Cheers to Catie for SHUT THE FUCK UP.
Drama this week. First off, some general notes:
· What the hell was up with the platinum blonde hair, Jay Manuel? Come on! It's a toss up now for who has the worst hairdo- Jay Manuel, Tyra, or Catie's horrendous makeover next episode.
· Speaking of which, poor Catie. Poor, poor Catie. The new shorter hairdo might look better if they hadn't bleached you out. You poor thing... If you don't win, I'd sue them for psychological trauma. As well as folical trauma.
· SPEAKING of Catie, did you see the size of that rock they gave her at the cocktail party? That was the biggest diamond I've ever seen in my LIFE! My God!
· Now, I dunno if anyone else was laughing when Janice and J. Alexander both got up on the desk and tried to do the booty arch, but I was. They looked like a pair of pornographic book ends.
· Supermodel Maggie Rizer looks alot like a friend I have named Megan.
· Steve Madden shoes have to be the ugliest shoes in the world.
· I look at the Steve Madden ads, and I see Shandi, Heather, and Camille all wearing plain black dresses. Why? The girls get their only opportunity to dress themselves, make themselves up, and select their own photo for a shoot, and they choose a plain back dress? Blah. Nice calls on the parts of April, Bethany, Mercedes and Jenascia when it comes to flattering apparel.
With the individual analyses, again saving the episode's main presences for last:
April: Slipped nicely under the radar this episode. April is totally endearing. She has these quirky facial expressions and mannerisms that are so cute and quirky. I'm loving her Steve Madden ad. First off, she's the only girl who I could see on the street and say, "Nice outfit." Of course, if you're wearing those boots, you're probably spending alot of time on street corners. In any event, her boots match nicely with her dress. I don't like that you can't see her face in the shot, or that her ribs are showing, but it's an ad for footwear, and the boots are displayed prominantly. Good call.
April Wilkner's Steve Madden Footwear Ad
Heather: Heather. Honey. No goddamn idea who you are. I looked at your Eve shot, thought you were Catie. I looked at your Steve Madden shot, thought you were Bethany. I can't remember a single thing about you, and that includes confessionals, memorable quotes, photographs, etc. Let your personality shine through- which is hard to do in a plain black dress. As for the Steve Madden ad... it looks a little cheesecake calendar to me. But I have to say, you pulled off the shoes as best you could. There is not a damn outfit in the world that would look half-decent with those shoes. The shoes are displayed prominantly, but not done justice by the background which camoflages the shoes. But hey, not your fault. Next episode, give us something to remember you by.
Heather Blumberg's Steve Madden Footwear Ad
Jenascia: Jenascia, Jenascia, Jenascia. You blended in nicely this episode despite your poor show in episode one. You're still gonna get hell for being too short, and you need to compromise. Just wear heels. Pretend you're tall. That's what the judges are screaming at you to do! And if the judges say jump, you say "How high?" Onto your ad shoot. Nice dress. Loving the dress. I like the boots, too, but they're about as subtle as a crowbar to the kneecaps. Don't like the boots with the dress, but you did your best. Also did a great job of remembering that the boots are what's for sale, not you. Most of the girls did a good job on this.
Jenascia Chakos' Steve Madden Footwear Ad
Mercedes: Outstanding. You put on a great show week after week. You've obviously gotten in good with the other girls, as evidenced by Catie inviting you to her victory cocktail party after winning the runway competition. However, she also invited Camille, so that one's up in the air. Your Steve Madden ad is among the best, and your chosen footwear doesn't actually look half bad. Boots even go with the bandanna and cap. Well done. VERY well done.
Mercedes Scelba-Shorte's Steve Madden Footwear Ad
Sara: A.K.A. the invisible woman. Sara is kinda like Heather, except that while I know exactly which one Sara is, she's never around. She's very pretty, and has gotten praise from the fans, but... for what? She's rarely even on camera! As for the Steve Madden ad, those boots are absolutely hideous. The outfit was a risky- she's one of the few not wearing a dress or skirt-, but she pulls it off. She's wearing a bit too much lipstick. Sara, maybe you and Heather should form a club to get noticed.
Sara Racey-Tabrizi's Steve Madden Footwear Ad
Xiomara: Xiomara, you are, by far, one of my top two favourites (along with, incidentally, Yoanna). So believe me when I say: there is something seriously wrong with your eyes. Seriously wrong. Look at her profile picture- cross eyed. Her runway walk- crack addict eyes. Her Steve Madden ad- psychotic eyes. Her runway walk did look like Linda Blair from the Exorcist- I nearly expired laughing. So, Xiomara, tone down the eyes. Besides that, I like your Steve Madden ad. You did your make-up well, have a bangin' outfit, good work.
Xiomara Frans' Steve Madden Footwear Ad
And, the stars:
Camille: The one whom everyone loves to hate. Heather hates you, Xiomara can't stand you, and Yoanna absolutely LOATHES you. I'd say you're off to a nice start. They hack up your hair next episode, but it has to be for the best, I suppose. Unlike Catie's. Anyhoodliedoodle, the loft had a group meeting on the subject of your being a hateful bitch, and your spat with Yoanna. You're not coming off well. I'd say. Now, I less than affectionately dub your Steve Madden ad "All the Shit from Season One I Could Throw Against the Wall to Make It Stick." Apparently failed attempt at motion shots- check. Tyra copycat makeup- double check. Seriously, what were you thinking with that makeup? I want to know what's going through your head. Not much else on her shot, besides her apparent lack of cleavage and the fact that she tackily wore the dress she'd worn to the cocktail party the night before to the photo shoot. Next.
Camille McDonald's Steve Madden Footwear Ad
Catie: The pre-Massacared Hair days. Catie sort of climbed into the limelight this week by winning the runway competition, and being completely oblivious to the fact that everyone in the house wanted to stab Camille in the face. Seriously- you wanted to keep the notice, but she wouldn't let go of the damn thing. She's also snide, rude and snotty. Did you think she stood a chance at Homecoming Queen? Jeez. Like your Steve Madden shoes. You got one of the better pairs. Unfortunately, this photo gives the illusion that Catie has a head the size of a peanut, which we know to be untrue. Nothing else, besides that she looks very waify and model-like.
Catie Anderson's Steve Madden Footwear Ad
Shandi: Once again, without any major coverage in the episode, it's still all about Shandi. I don't get it. If I had to choose the absolute worst model there going by photos, it would probably be her. I am not seeing what everyone else thinks is so outstanding about her photos. I think it might be her eyes- they are always so overly done up in her photos. She has the ugliest boots out of anyone. And while her pose in the photo is outstanding (it was a pose that the judges suggested the Amazing Mercedes should have tried, in fact), it doesn't make up for the fact that I'm just not feeling her. A for effort, though. Ditch the Steve Madden hooker boots, you're better than that.
Shandi Sullivan's Steve Madden Footwear Ad
Yoanna: Yoanna, I love you. You're my absolute favourite. You're edgy without being cliched, tell it like it is without being a bitch (like some others- Camille, I'm looking in your direction), and you stole rolls of toilet paper from tavern on the green. You put Camille in her place, if only temporarily, and managed to take the ugliest shoes I've ever seen in my life and make them look workable in your Steve Madden ad. You need a bit of a wardrobe check, though- that purple and orange number you were wearing in the runway competition? Your slacks in the Steve Madden ad? That eighties pink jumpsuit paint job? Well, you didn't really have much control over the last one, but the others- do something about it. You're supposed to be a designer.
Yoanna House's Steve Madden Footwear Ad
And, our dearly departed:
Bethany: I wanna know what the judges were smoking when they decided to eliminate you. Your Steve Madden ad is easily one of the most appealing, and you have a very good presence and take direction well. So, what went wrong? Maybe you were too chesty for your own good. Maybe they thought the other girls would kill you in your sleep out of breast envy. Maybe they feared the massive gravitational pull from your bosom would throw off the Earth's rotation. I'm not sure what happened, but there's a ninety percent chance it involves your breasts in some way, shape or form. I'm surprised, though, and saddened to see you go. But I totally called it. Go back and look at my predictions, you'll see she's in the bottom three.
Goodbye, Bethany. It's been a pleasant two hours knowing you. You may not have been chosen as the best of the breast, but at least now you know how to do that booty arch. I'm sure it came in handy, because Bethany, you just got fucked.
Bethany Harrison's Steve Madden Footwear Ad
So, what are my power rankings going into episode three?
1. Mercedes
2. Yoanna
3. Catie
4. Shandi
5. Camille
6. Sara
7. Heather
8. Jenascia
9. Xiomara
10. April
Sorry, April, this may be a hunch, but I see you going. (Sounds like a song...)
And mercifully, we're down to ten girls. Will Catie explode after she sees her horrendous make over? What of the newly blonde Shandi's apparent collapse? How the hell will they pull off eleven more episodes with only ten girls left? Guess we'll see.
Stay tuned. ;)
Well, on one of my random Googling sprees, I turned up a very interesting anti-abortion article written by one Rasheeda McDaniel, A.K.A. the girl who cleared the bar in the New York episode of American Idol 3.
The Rasheeda McDaniel who wrote the article is supposedly from Walnut Hills High, which Google claims is located in Cincinnati, Ohio. I don't remember where Rasheeda was from, but it's not that far-fetched that an Ohio native would travel to a New York audition. I'm not sure if this is important as she didn't advance to Hollywood. Draw your own conclusions.
Rasheeda's Article: http://www.pregnantpause.org/racism/mindset.htm
The Walnut Hills High Homepage: http://www.walnuthills.org/
Everything in the gatdang world is just screaming that the Mole is either Angie Everheart, or Dennis Rodman. They both had their had in sabotaging the Exemption or Bust game, and who really believes that Angie was actually sick during the pinata game? She skinny-dipped without influence, screwed the team during the Artifact game... But that's the thing. There's hasn't been one challenge she hasn't blatantly ripped open- and that's why I think she's not the Mole.
I've yet to see very much Molishness from Rodman, but his act during the Exemption or Bust game irks me. Specifically, it was similar to a tactic used by Bill the Mole from season two. Factor in the alternating male/female pattern of Moles (Kathryn/Bill/Frederique), and it could feasibly be Rodman.
It's not Mark Curry, it's not Tracey Gold, and it's sure as hell not Corbin or Ananda. That leaves us with who? Ah, yes, Stephen Baldwin and Keshia Knight-Pulliam. I am of the opinion that it *could* be either one of these two. After all, Keshia refused to let anyone smack her pinata during that game- perhaps she knew hers had the money. I wish I could remember if she picked first, second, third or fourth, as that would offer some insight. Also noteworthy is that she clearly went right for journal two. Perhaps to get the exemption challenge? I don't know what that means in the grand scope of things, but she ended up adding 6000 dollars to the pot, so it might mean nothing.
As for Stephen, we've yet to see much Molenocity from his end. But he could, I suppose, still be the Mole. Nothing's out of bounds with this guy. Also, he refused to put *50,000 dollars* in the pot over the exemption. Look for updates on his coallition with Tracey.
So, who is the Celebrity Mole? My money is on Keshia Knight-Pulliam, with an outside chance of Angie Everheart or Stephen Baldwin. I dunno.... Rodman's just not screaming Mole at me right now.
I'll keep ya posted.
Tyra was smart to put the nude shoot and the runway walk at the front of the lineup. The girls have historically had problems with these two hurdles, and it's best to break them in with these. Last season, the shoots were very diverse- a contact lens commercial, an extreme beauty shoot, the nude shoot, etc. One only wonders what is in store for the models this year. Also, it gave us the re-intorduction to Mista J. Alexander. Go him. As for my analyses, I'll save the "stars" of the first episode for last:
Bethany: Everytime I see her, whether on camera or in photo, she looks a little different from the last time. I agree with the judges that her breasts set me off. I do believe that they are implants. And, yes, she does look like Cher and Thing One from The Cat in the Hat somehow managed to concieve a child. Her Eve shot is certainly not the best. She got what Yoanna didn't get though: a good paint job.
Bethany Harrison's U.S.S. Intrepid Runway Shot
Bethany Harrison's "Eve" Contact Lens Ad
Catie: Catie who? Seriously, Catie and also Heather failed to make any impression on me at all in the first hour we knew them. We know she's the ingenue/waif from Minnesota. That's about all on her. The photographers certainly didn't seem very impressed with her, and frankly, neither am I. Her Eve shot is, in my eyes, the worst of them all. She looks like she should be working in an old Western brothel with that hair and whore rouge. Not liking the body paint. Not liking Catie. I know she's capable of better.
Catie Anderson's U.S.S. Intrepid Runway Shot
Catie Anderson's "Eve" Contact Lens Ad
Heather: A.K.A. The one I keep confusing with Bethany. Heather has yet to do anything remarkable to catch my eye. In fact, I can't remember a single thing she did in the first episode. Was she the one whom the judges thought looked too "California valley girl"? Her Eve shot is exceptional, due mostly to her remarkable body paint job. Her face in this particular photo looks alot like Jenascia's. Still waiting for her to do something memorable.
Heather Blumberg's U.S.S. Intrepid Runway Shot
Heather Blumberg's "Eve" Contact Lens Ad
Mercedes: DAMN! What an Eve shot! She looks absolutely spectacular. I'd go sar for as to say she's in the lead from what we've seen of the girls thus far. She has a sort of natural beauty that flows from within. Something needs to be done about that hair, though. She looks extremely regal in the photo, and I hope that she doesn't carry that air of superiority to all of her photos, though. She can't seem to look soft if her life depends on it. As I recall, Ebony Haith had that problem... But still, flawless posing, flawless expression, just a great all around shot.
Mercedes Scelba-Shorte's U.S.S. Intrepid Runway Shot
Mercedes Scelba-Shorte's "Eve" Contact Lens Ad
Sara: Ugh. I *hate* her Eve shot so much it's not even funny. I guess her's is supposed to be Eve of the Future or something, but the look coupled with the background is so not working for me. Points for sticking her finger in Adam's mouth, though. Way to commit. Her attitude was a bit holier-than-thou and put me off a bit. She certainly is very pretty, and if we were going on appearances or first impressions alone, Sara would be walking away with that Jane Magazine spread. Thankfully, we're not, and she's not.
Sara Racey-Tabrizi's U.S.S. Intrepid Runway Shot
Sara Racey-Tabrizi's "Eve" Contact Lens Ad
Xiomara: Although I like her shot alot more than Janice the Hag seemed to, I must admit that the lack of a right arm is certainly distracting. I have to wonder what she'd do with it if it were showing, though. I like Xiomara alot already, as she seems refreshingly honest without being rude. Also, Tyra's crack about Xiomara's abundance of teeth being fixable made me laugh. Are they just going to take a hammer to her face, or what?
Xiomara Frans' U.S.S. Intrepid Runway Shot
Xiomara Frans' "Eve" Contact Lens Ad
Yoanna: I agree with the judges that Yoanna has a very classic beauty about her face, and she looks gorgeous when done up. Her attire left something to be desired in the Eve shot. It looked like a hooker from the eighties got caught in a time warp. Plus it's hard to look at her adam without giggling. I'm not sure if she has as small a paint-clothing ratio as the other girls, that looks like fabric to me. Anyway, I cracked up when she decided on a whim to steal toilet paper from the restaurant. I like her odds.
Yoanna House's U.S.S. Itrepid Runway Shot
Yoanna House's "Eve" Contact Lens Ad
And, now, the stars:
April: I didn't feel as strongly about her in particular not waking Jenascia when she should have as others did, but she should have at least left the cab to wake up her slumbering roommate. After all, Jenascia went out of her way to help April when April messed up during the runway. That being said, I like her personality and her occasionally odd facial expressions. And her Eve shot is, in my eyes, the best of them all. Eve of the Middle East... Everything in this picture just comes together beautifully. The body paint, the position of Adam, the use of the fan with the apple insignia rather than the actual apple... It just flows. Go April!
April Wilkner's U.S.S. Intrepid Runway Shot
April Wilkner's "Eve" Contact Lens Ad
Camille: Everyone at home hates Camille, and it's only been an hour! Seriously, she is like Robin, but take away the religious hypocricy and add a layer of unnecessary rudeness. She has ugly, ratty hair extensions, to boot. And her Eve shot is nothing special. Unlike Robin, who usually translated well to the camera (especially her snake shot), Camille just brings that cold arrogance that I accused Mercedes of. Well, Mercedes isn't cold. As for Camille, we officially have our villainess of the season.
Camille McDonald's U.S.S. Intrepid Runway Shot
Camille McDonald's "Eve" Contact Lens Ad
Jenascia: Her Eve shot is easily the most elaborate. I dislike the obtrusive tree coming in from the left of the picture. Her facial expression seems off, but that's likely because she was upset that everyone left her at home, leaving her to arrive two hours late and half-awake. That there was fucking cruel. Poor girl answered the phone in tears. And the other girls seem to think that April should have woken her up. That doesn't mean that they're off the hook. That was extremely rude and if Jenascia gets eliminated because of it, she doesn't deserve it.
Jenascia Chakos' U.S.S. Intrepid Runway Shot
Jenascia Chakos' "Eve" Contact Lens Ad
Shandi: Even though she was nearly invisible in the first episode, somehow it's all about Shandi. She already has a cult-like following, and has fans of both Adrianne and Elyse in her camp. I wasn't nearly as wowed by her Eve shot as the judges, and her runway show was pathetic. I'm not afraid to say that Shandi is entirely overrated. She isn't ready to be a top model yet. Though the reason I didn't like her Eve shot as much is probably because she got the same whore makeup as Catie.
Shandi Sullivan's U.S.S. Intrepid Runway Shot
Shandi Sullivan's "Eve" Contact Lens Ad
And, finally, our now ex wannabe:
Anna: You're the reason they put the nude shoot first. You can't say you didn't see it coming, and have no one to blame but yourself. I can't blame you for sticking to your morals, but the shoot was in good taste and you know it. However, it's your prerogative. But now, we have no photos to remember you by. Oops.
Goodbye, Anna. It's been a pleasant hour knowing you. Don't let the door hit you in the plus-sized ass on the way out.
Anna Bradfield's U.S.S. Intrepid Shot
Here's my power rankings going into the next episode:
1. Mercedes
2. Yoanna
3. Sara
4. Shandi
5. April
6. Xiomara
7. Camille
8. Heather
9. Bethany
10. Jenascia
11. Catie
And there we have it. Get ready for episode two; I know I am!
Current mood: tired.